Separation and Hope
by rooster dawn
Summary: Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on with her life when she doesn’t hear from him. Author’s note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of
1. Chapter 1

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part one Reflections_

Friday

3 Sep 1999

Sarah's Office

Sarah MacKenzie sat in her office thinking about the what if's. It had been almost three and half months since Harm left to return to active flight status on the Patrick Henry. It had been a very hard time for her. All the people she loved were leaving her.

Harriet was the first. She had her baby in late April. Harriet initially was only going to take maternity leave for a few months, but she later decided to leave JAG and go into the reserves. She wanted to spend as much time with her baby as possible.

Harriet would show up for two days a month for active duty, but otherwise she was gone from Sarah's life completely. She knew she could always visit Harriet, but visiting with her only reminded her of what she was missing.

Then two weeks later Chloe left to live with her grandparents in Vermont. Even though she was happy for Chloe and that she would be with her real family, people who really loved her, Sarah still missed her so much that it hurt.

Chloe had become very important to her. She was so perfect. The perfect little girl, so beautiful and intelligent.

She loved Chloe and Chloe loved her. She had become a very happy and intelligent girl who was a joy to be around except when she opened her mouth to reveal Sarah's most private secrets to anyone willing to listen to her.

And finally two weeks after Chloe left, Harm left her too. He had had his vision corrected while she was away visiting her dying father. He could see at night now. There weren't any excuses to why he couldn't be a full time aviator.

It was something he always wanted to do more than anything else. It was a step backwards at this stage of his career, but it didn't matter to him. All he wanted to do was fly. She had hoped that he would want to be with her more.

Maybe that was the reason Harm made the baby deal with her in April. If they weren't in a relationship with anyone else in five years they would go halves on a baby. Of course to her what she thought that meant was there was still a chance they could get together.

Their relationship had suffered greatly last year when her husband of thirteen years showed up out of the blue to remind her that they were still married. He of course wanted something. Unfortunately she couldn't give him what he wanted, love. She was in love with Harm.

Sadly Chris died in a struggle for a gun he own. Even though Harm defended her in court, he punished her for months for not telling him about her marriage to Chris. He later began dating Jordan, a navy commander, who was someone she could never hate. She was blond, but she wasn't a bimbo.

She guess that was the only good thing about Harm leaving to fly, Jordan broke up with him. She wasn't interested in being a part time lover or being involved with an aviator. Even though Sarah didn't want Harm to leave either, she didn't want to prevent him from doing something that he loved.

They had a tearful goodbye in his office the day he left. She hated the idea he was leaving. It might be a long time before she ever saw him again. If the baby deal was any indication it could be five years. That was a long time to wait for the man she loved.

She had been surprised to see Harm show up at her door that night. She thought they had said their goodbyes at the office. They ordered in Chinese. After eating dinner one thing led to another and before she knew what was happening they were making sweet love in her bedroom.

It had been the most wonderful feeling she ever experience. Their lovemaking was gentle at first, but later it became wild and passionate. They made love half the night before falling asleep in each other's arms. It was a night she would never forget as long a she live.

When Harm left later that day they agreed to e-mail each other on a regular basis. Sarah was going to keep him updated with what was going on at Jag and Harm was going to let her know he doing alright, that he was still alive and well.

At first they communicated quite regularly by e-mail, two or three times a week. But now almost four months later she hardly heard from him. She had been sending him an update every Friday, keeping him informed with what was going on.

She wanted him to feel as though he was still a part of their lives at Jag. She knew that even though Harm was happy flying again everyday, he still missed his friends at Jag. Harm never forgot his friends.

Unfortunately for whatever reason she didn't understand, Harm had begun to e-mail her less frequently. It had been more than two weeks since his last email.

She understood that it wasn't always possible for him to e-mail her everyday, but was it asking too much of him that he stay in contact with her at least once a week.

The only thing she could figure out was, he was moving on without her. He was never going to return to Washington, to Jag, to her. He was going to remain with the fleet for as long as possible.

What that meant for them she didn't know, what she did know, there wasn't going to be any relationship between them any time soon. It would be nonexistent. She sighed with that realization.

She realized also that it didn't make any sense to tell Harm the results of their night together before he left. A night that was so wonderful. A night that they had finally succumb to their needs and desires for each other.

What was unexpected was, she got pregnant. Since she hadn't been in a relationship with anybody since Dalton died eighteen months ago, she had become lax about taking the proper safety precautions when dealing with having sex.

The last thing she thought about that night was that she and Harm would be making love. They got caught up in moment of passion. She never thought to ask Harm to use protection. Then again she didn't care.

All she wanted to do was make love with him. As things turned out she was pregnant with his child. She was happy about that. She had expressed to Harm after little Aj's birth her desire to have a child, especially when she saw Harriet and little Aj together.

Sarah sighed as she reflected on the current state of affairs. She finished typing out her request for transfer. She had been here at headquarters for over three years. It was time for her to move on.

Harm wasn't coming back. There wasn't any reason to stay around anymore. She had put on ten pounds. She was beginning to show. She wanted to leave before anyone realized her true condition, especially Harriet.

The last thing she wanted was to answer any questions about her pregnancy, especially about whom the father was. It didn't really matter because he wasn't here and he didn't know. There was no way she was going to trap Harm into marrying her just because she was pregnant.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part two _

Tuesday

7 Sep 1999

JAG Headquarters

Sarah knocked on the Admiral's door. It was time to give him her transfer request. She couldn't stay at headquarters anymore. It hurt too much. It had been over a month now since she had last heard from him. It was time to move on.

"Enter!" bellowed the Admiral when he heard the knock at his door.

"Sir." replied Sarah as she stood at attention in front of his desk.

"What is it Colonel?" asked the Admiral coldly.

Sarah handed the Admiral the folder she was carrying. The Admiral took it and opened the folder. He was chagrined to see the transfer request inside. He had already lost one of his best people, he didn't want to lose another.

"What's going on here Colonel? Why have you given me this? Aren't you happy here?" asked the Admiral.

"It's time to move on Sir. I've been here over three years now. There's nothing left here for me Sir." replied Sarah.

"What do you mean Colonel? I've made you the temporary Chief of Staff. You've been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. This is the best place for your career. You're out from Rabb's shadow now. It's your time to shine.

Your work here can lead to further advancement and positions. Name recognition to the senior Naval Command alone is a reason to stay." argued the Admiral.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. JAG Headquarters was the dream assignment for all aspiring lawyers for both military and civilian advancements.

Being the Chief of Staff for a few years could assist her in gaining another early promotion. It also could provide her a possible command position at another JAG location in a four or five years.

"This has something to do with Rabb, doesn't it?" bellowed the Admiral slightly perturbed.

"Sir?" replied Sarah a little confused.

"He's not here anymore. I know how close the two of you were." replied the Admiral.

"Sir, I'm not sure what you're implying, Commander Rabb was involved with Commander Parker before he left not me. He was dating her for the last five months. How could his leaving Jag affect me personally?" lied Sarah.

"His leaving JAG affected the whole JAG staff Colonel, but his leaving affects you the most Colonel. You'll have a chance to shine on your own now. You won't be sharing the lime light with the Commander anymore. You will be recognized for the work you do, not as his partner." argued the Admiral.

He couldn't understand why she was being so difficult. Why couldn't she see that it was in her best interest to stay? Why couldn't she see how important it was for her to stay in Washington? With Rabb gone, maybe he could develop a closer relationship with her.

Damm Rabb! It was bad enough that he had to lose him because of some childhood fantasy, but why did his actions have to drag Sarah away too. He didn't like the idea of losing his two best lawyers.

"Sir, I've never worried about that. I believe my record speaks for itself. I just feel the need to be somewhere else right now. I think being in Europe is a good fit for me Sir. I can utilize all my skills.

I speak five European languages. I have good International law experience from my time serving two years in Bosnia seven years ago. I wish to build upon that experience. I also like the lifestyle there Sir." explained Sarah.

"I hate to lose you Colonel, especially after losing the Commander. You two are the best lawyers I have ever had. There's nothing either one of you can't do. You both are excellent in the courtroom, you both are exceptional investigators, and you both know how to solve problems.

You both have a knack of finding out the truth when it doesn't want to be found." sighed the Admiral.

"As I'm sure you are aware of, there is a position available as Chief of Staff at the Naples' office. They have been looking to fill the position for six weeks. If you want the position, it's yours.

I'll call Captain Rodgers tomorrow to let him know you'll be filling the billet. How much time do you need Colonel?" conceded the Admiral resigning himself to the fact Sarah was leaving.

"I think two weeks should be sufficient Sir. One week to finish up some cases and another week to arrange for the move. And if you please Sir, I would like to keep all this quiet Sir." replied Sarah.

Wednesday

1 Sep 1999

Mountain pasture

Yugoslavia

Harm was flying high through the skies. He had just completed a successful mission and was headed home, back to the carrier. As he and his RIO were leaving Yugoslavian airspace they were hit by a surface to air missile.

They were going down. The only question was could they make it back to safe airspace before they had to eject. They needed to get over a mountain range to be safely rescued.

"May day! May day! This is Fox Trot One. We've been hit and are going down. May day! May day! We are ejecting." screamed Harm's Rio into his mike hoping that a rescue team would be there as soon as possible.

The RIO pulled the ejection handle. They were going over a very mountainous territory. They weren't flying at a very high altitude. Since the RIO ejected a few seconds before Harm, his parachute caught a gust of wind blowing him up and over the top of a fast approaching mountain.

Harm wasn't so lucky. Since they were so low when they ejected his chute hadn't had enough time to slow him down significantly. He crashed into the rough mountainous terrain knocking him unconscious.

Later that afternoon a goat herder and his son found him unconscious. One of his legs and one arm were broken. They couldn't tell what other injuries Harm might have. They made up a make shift litter to move him a half mile down the mountain to their summer cabin.

They tried to make him as comfortable as possible. They splinted his injuries the best they could. They were many miles away from their main residence. They had no way of moving Harm there or to a hospital over a hundred miles away.

There were no roads in this area of the mountain. The terrain was too severe. It was only good for grazing goats or sheep. All they could do was insure that Harm was comfortable until he woke up.

Harm's RIO on the other hand had made it over the mountain peak. He came down over a hundred miles away in a more receptive terrain. He managed to be taken to a police station and later to a NATO military base.

He was taken back to the Patrick Henry on a COD. Harm was reported as ejecting safely, but was missing in action. It was assumed that he landed in friendly territory.

It was determine not to notify JAG Headquarters. The Admiral had made it perfectly clear to the SecNav that if anything happen to Harm, he didn't want to know anything about it. Harm wasn't part of his command anymore.

So JAG European Headquarters in Naples, Italy was informed. They would handle the mishap investigation. They investigated the plane being shot down and notified Navy Command. They notified the Burnetts that Harm had been shot down and was assumed missing.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part three_

Friday

8 Oct 1999

Mountain pasture

Yugoslavia

Harm laid unconscious in a make shift bed for more than a month before finally waking up. He felt very groggy and in a lot of pain. His whole body ache. He wondered what had hit him so hard to make him feel so bad. It was a struggle to sit up, so he decided not to.

A short time later a man and his son came into the room. They noticed that Harm had finally woken up. They assisted him into a sitting position. The boy got Harm some water and food to eat.

Harm tried to communicate with them. He asked them if they spoke English. The man and boy shook their head no. They were only poor goat herders. There was no need for them to know how to speak English, the goats only understood Serbian.

The man pointed to Harm's leg and made a motion to indicate it was broken. Harm looked at his leg and noticed that it was splinted. He carefully ran his hand along his leg to see if it had been set properly.

It seemed okay though maybe a little off. The man pointed to Harm's head. It had a bandage on it. Harm felt his head. There was a remnant of a bump there along with several gashes that had healed.

Finally the man made a motion of Harm sleeping many days. Harm was stunned to learn that. Though it did explain why he felt so weak and couldn't move. He also was beginning to feel tire.

Harm knew he had been missing long enough. He had to get back to the ship. He motioned to the man how long before they return to town? The man helped Harm to his feet. They walked very slowly over to a window to look out.

Harm saw that they were up in the mountains. He saw no roads or vehicles to ride in. He didn't see any other modes of transportation either. Harm resigned himself to the fact he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

21 Sept 1999

JAG Headquarters

Washington DC

Meanwhile no one at JAG was even remotely aware that Harm was missing. Their only contact with Harm had been through Sarah and she was gone now. No one knew where she was either. They had all seen her on Friday, but not on Monday when they returned from their weekend.

Everyone had just assumed that she was away on an investigation, but at staff call the next Tuesday the Admiral informed them all that Sarah had transferred to another command. Her replacement would be here in two weeks.

Harriet and Bud were shocked. They had worked very hard in their efforts of brown nosing the senior officers. They had been in quite tight with Harm and Sarah, the two most respected officers at JAG Headquarters.

They could pretty much do as they please. Harriet had never thought twice about bickering with Bud. Telling him what to do. Occasionally making him look like an ass or doofus in front of their peers. Now they were both gone.

Somehow they hadn't meshed very well with the Commander Rabb's replacement, a Major Joe Brown. He was a hard core marine officer. He didn't care too much for soft-bellied squids, particularly those like Bud. He viewed Bud as a sniveling weakling.

He like to ride Bud hard, referring to him as Spud MacKenzie, the black eyed mutt who swilled Budweiser beer. He hated ass kissers. He knew that was what Bud was. He also didn't like that Bud couldn't control his woman.

She was a major headache, a royal pain in the ass. He wondered why she was even there. She was always meddling and causing a disruption to the well ordered discipline he was trying to establish in the office. He had to counsel her on more than one occasion.

Since Harm wasn't a part of JAG anymore. Top navy officials had no reason to inform the Admiral that Harm was the naval aviator that had gone missing. They only notified his parents, the Burnetts.

The Captain and the CAG had sent their report through their chain of command up to the CNO. No where did it include JAG Headquarters, only the Fleet JAG Command stationed in Europe got a copy of the report.

Tuesday

5 Oct 1999

JAG European HQ

Naples, Italy

The two weeks had flown by for Sarah as she got ready to leave JAG Headquarters and go to Naples, Italy. She managed to complete a few case files and reviews. She transferred her remaining cases to the different lawyers who remained.

This should have alerted people that Sarah was leaving, but instead they all just assumed they were being assigned extra work due to Harm's absence. None of them even thought that she was leaving.

The Admiral honored her request about not telling anyone before she left. She spent the second week packing up everything she needed and put what she couldn't take with her in storage, including her corvette.

She saw no need to take it with her. In a few months she would have the baby. Babies and corvettes didn't go well together. She had all her uniforms let out as much as possible hoping it would hide her pregnancy a little while longer. She also packed away pregnancy uniforms for her last few months.

When Sarah arrived at Naples Headquarters she was assigned the Chief of Staff quarters. It was large and spacious. It was at least twice as large as her apartment in DC. It was beautifully decorated.

She would have plenty of room to raise a child while she was there. For the first time in months Sarah felt relieved. She was away from her well meaning busy body friends who had a difficult time respecting her privacy.

She wouldn't have to answer the dreaded who's the father question. She could relax and be herself. She sighed as she also recognized that she wouldn't be seeing her friends anymore.

But most importantly Harm wasn't there. She missed him so much that it hurt to stay, but she would have to learn to live without him. He wasn't coming back. He had moved on with his life. She hoped someday soon she would stop crying herself to sleep.

Thursday

18 Nov 1999

JAG European HQ

Naples, Italy

A week before Thanksgiving Sarah's CO, Captain Wayne Rodgers, called Sarah into his office. Sarah wondered what he wanted to see her about, though she thought it might have something to do with her condition.

"Good morning Sir, what can I do for you?" greeted Sarah. She and Captain Rodgers had a very informal command structure.

"Good morning Sarah. I was wondering if you could enlighten me about something, that is do you have something to tell me?" asked Captain Rodgers.

He had developed a certain fondness for Sarah. She was a very special officer, a woman he could see having a possible future with if she allowed him. Women like Sarah didn't come along everyday. One had to seize the opportunity when it presented itself.

"Yes Sir. I'm six months pregnant Sir." replied Sarah.

"When were you going to tell me Sarah?" asked Captain Rodgers.

"Need to know Sir. I honesty thought my condition was quite obvious Sir. It is in my medical records Sir. I thought you would say something at the appropriate time Sir." replied Sarah uneasily.

"Who's the father? Anyone I know?" asked Captain Rodgers with a naughty grin.

"Someone who's not a part of my life anymore Sir. I tried to stay in contact with him by e-mail, but he wasn't interested." wailed Sarah.

"It's been over three months now since I last heard from him. I guess he's moved on Sir."

"I'm sorry to hear that Sarah, what are you going to do?" asked Captain Rodgers with concern.

Maybe this was the way to finally get closer to her. At his age it wasn't easy to meet beautiful young women. One could always expect a child or two to be a part of the package.

He really didn't mind, he loved kids. They were a lot of fun to be around. It also was a nice way to meet women.

"I expect to work up to a week or two before the baby is born. Then I would like to take six weeks maternity leave before returning back to work Sir." replied Sarah.

"You have ample leave time accumulated Sarah. If you need to or want to take more time after the baby arrives, feel free to use it Sarah. I know it won't be easy while you're gone, but we'll muddle through somehow. We'll survive." laughed Captain Rodgers.

"And if you need anything Sarah, don't be afraid to ask. I want to help you in any way I can. We're family here." smiled Captain Rodgers.

"Thank you Sir, I appreciate that. I'll let you know if I need anything." smile Sarah in return.

She was thankful that the Captain wasn't going to make an issue of her pregnancy. In fact she was surprised that the Captain wanted to help her during this difficult time.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part four_

Monday

22 Nov 1999

Mountain pasture

Yugoslavia

It took a long time for Harm's leg to heal, eight weeks. It took another ten days before he felt comfortable enough to make the long trip down the mountain to the goat herder's home near the valley floor.

As it was it took three days to make the trip. Harm wasn't exactly moving too swiftly, but then again they also had to herd the hundred and fifty goats down the mountain, no small feat by itself.

They were fortunate to have a couple of shelties to keep the goats from wandering off. Unlike sheep and cattle, goats were very independent and were easily distracted. They like to go their own way whenever possible.

When they finally arrived at the goat herder's house, Harm looked around the area. He still didn't see any mode of transportation. How was he going to make it back to the battle fleet? At the present pace maybe not until sometime next year.

He kept on thinking about Sarah. Did she know that he was missing? How was she dealing with the fact he had been shot down? He knew it was her biggest fear when he went back to flying. It was the main reason he had put off asking her to marry him.

What was she doing? Were their friends at JAG taking care of her? Were they helping her keep the faith? Was she missing him as much as he was missing her? He needed to get to her. He loved her so much.

He looked over at the goat herder. He raised his hands to ask what's next? The man smiled and made a sign to follow him into the house. He had a telephone inside to call for help.

Harm wondered why the man hadn't sent his son down the mountain earlier to get help. He could have been home weeks ago if he had. He guess he would have to wait until help arrive to find out the answer.

The man called the local authorities. He told them he had found the American pilot who had been shot down weeks ago. He needed help returning to the fleet. They told him that they would be there in a few days.

Thursday

25 Nov 1999

Roberts' apartment

Harriet and Bud had a small Thanksgiving dinner for those of the JAG Staff who were single and had no other plans. They felt the need to take care of others like they had been taken cared of earlier in their careers.

The day went by quietly as everyone fuss over baby Aj. They all thought he looked more like the Admiral than Bud or Harriet. His hair was still very fine and thin.

Before eating Harriet and Bud took turns offering thanks and each saying a prayer for Harm and Sarah who weren't with them anymore. Bud asked God for a special favor to watch over Harm while he was flying and to keep him safe.

Harriet prayed that Sarah found whatever it was she was looking for, but asked God to help Sarah find the strength to wait for Harm. They were soul mates that belonged together. She prayed that they would find their way back to each other.

Friday

26 Nov 1999

Goat herder's Home

Yugoslavia

Several days later two vehicles arrived at the small farmhouse. The first one was the local police. They arrived from twenty miles away made much longer by the winding roads up, down, and around the mountains.

The second vehicle was from a NATO installation a hundred miles away. They stopped in front of the house. Harm and the goat herder greeted the young military man. He was from Greece.

"Good morning Sir. My name is Captain Greghor Pappas. I'm with the NATO forces stationed a hundred miles away. We have been looking for you a very long time." greeted the young Greek Captain.

"Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, I was shot down three months ago. I was station on the aircraft carrier Patrick Henry. It's finally nice to have someone to talk to who understands English." smiled Harm.

"You had a lot of people worried about you Sir. I have received a phone call at least once a week from US Naval Command asking if we had anything new to report on you.

Today I was able to let them know an American pilot had been found, though we didn't know your name yet. They were quite please to receive the news. They will be sending a COD to pick you up.

My impression is they are going to take you to the military hospital in Naples." smiled Captain Pappas.

"Thank you Captain. I have a lot of people to let know I'm safe." smiled Harm.

After going through a couple of translators, Harm thanked the goat herder and his son. He also found out why they hadn't gone for help sooner. The boy's mother had died a few years ago. He didn't want to send the boy because he didn't want him to be alone for that many days.

Thursday

2 Dec 1999

NATO Military Hospital

Naples, Italy

Harm spent the next five days in the hospital getting checked out. He was given the prognosis that he wouldn't be heading back to the battle fleet. His leg had healed, but not properly due to lack of medical attention.

Harm's leg had been broken in too many places. They didn't think his leg could stand up to a flight physical. The stress to get into proper shape would be too much for his leg.

The doctors thought it was unwise to rebreak the bone so it could heal properly, particularly for a pilot at the end of his flying career. They didn't think it would affect him from living a normal life, only from flying on a daily basis.

Harm was deeply disappointed. He had thought he still had a few more good years left to fly. It had been why he gave up a promising career in the courtroom. It was why he made the baby promise with Sarah.

He hadn't wanted her to wait for him. She should go on with her life. If she found someone to love she should go for it.

Harm was also disappointed that the only people to visit him during his stay in hospital were Captain Ingalls and the CAG. He had hope that maybe someone from JAG would have visited, that someone was named Sarah. But no one came.

Meanwhile in another part of the hospital Captain Rogers had taken Sarah to the clinic for her monthly checkup. He had taken on the role of her surrogate husband. Anytime Sarah needed to go for a checkup or needed anything, he was there for her.

He was hoping that after the baby came, he could solidify his relationship with Sarah. On the way out of the hospital they passed by Harm's room. They didn't see him nor did Harm see Sarah.

Monday

6 Dec 1999

JAG Headquarters

A week later Harm was back at JAG Headquarters. It felt good to be back home. He had spent the last week in the hospital getting checked out for the injuries he suffered after his ejection.

He had gotten a call from the Admiral a couple of days after he arrived home telling him that he was being reassigned to the JAG corp. He had gone into JAG Headquarters the next day to see the Admiral.

His injuries had healed sufficiently, but unfortunately because of the lack of immediate medical attention, he could no longer be assigned to a fighter wing. His injuries had left him unable to perform to the standards required.

He still could do almost everything he did before the accident. He even could fly on a limited basis, but he could no longer be a full time pilot. His body wouldn't be able to stand up to the rigors of flying.

He was looking forward to seeing Sarah again. He had tried calling her at home and on her cell, but wasn't able to get a hold of her. In fact her home phone was out of order. What did it mean?

If there was anything he wanted most in the world right now it was Sarah. It had been so long since he had seen her. She was all he could think of since he woke up after he nearly killed himself.

He knocked on the Admiral door, prepared to report for duty at JAG. He was excited to be here. He had looked over towards Sarah's office when he first arrived but hadn't seen her.

"Enter!" bellowed the Admiral. Harm walked in and stood at attention.

"Commander Rabb reporting in Sir!" greeted Harm. It felt good to be back.

"At Ease! Take a seat Commander. I see that you've decided to become a lawyer again. What's going on Commander?" bellowed the Admiral.

"Sir? I was shot down last September. I suffered major injuries. I'm not allowed to be assign to a fighter wing anymore. They reassigned me to JAG." replied Harm.

"I wasn't aware of your crash Commander. We weren't notified that it was your plane that went down. All we heard was that a plane had been shot down. The RIO had been rescued, but the pilot was missing. It was handled by a JAG team stationed in Europe. How long were you missing for Commander?" asked the Admiral.

"I was missing for almost four months Sir. Sir, if I may, where's Major MacKenzie? I tried calling her last night when I got in. I couldn't get a hold of her." replied Harm.

He figured Sarah might be piss off with him for not staying in contact with her like he promised. It really wasn't his fault. He had been missing for four months. If she would let him explain then things would be better.

He hoped that she wasn't too mad at him. He missed her and needed her in his life. It was what kept him going all those months in the mountains.

"She left headquarters last fall Commander. She said she needed a change. And she's a Lieutenant Colonel now." answered the Admiral with a sour look on his face. It caused Harm to wince. He knew he was probably somehow responsible for that.

"A Lieutenant Colonel." pondered Harm.

"Where did she go Sir? I was hoping to talk to her. I wanted to explain to her why I wasn't able to stay in contact with her. She must have been worried." moaned Harm.

"I wouldn't know anything about that Commander. I don't believe she was even aware that you were shot down. As to where she is now, I can't tell you. Before she left here she asked me not to tell anyone where she was going." replied the Admiral with a smug look.

"I really need to talk to her Sir." pleaded Harm.

"I'm sorry Commander, but of all the people she knows you're probably the last one she wanted me to tell. I think she was very hurt that you didn't stay in touch. I don't think she wants to see you. I honestly believe you're the reason she left here." replied the Admiral.

"Sir?" asked a stunned Harm.

"Commander, you make an impact on people. I believe the Colonel is by no means an exception. Why else would she have gone to Russia with you last year. Do you think she would have gone there for anyone else?

You handled your personal relationship with her very poorly Commander. I think your leaving here to return to flying was the last straw for her. We've had to muddle through the last few months without both of you." explained the Admiral.

"You're right Sir. I have screwed up with her, but in all fairness I wasn't ready to give her what she wanted. I still had hopes of flying for a few more years.

I didn't want to put her through what my mother went through after my father was shot down. Until I was sure I wasn't going to be flying anymore, I couldn't commit to her.

I know she would never want to tell me I couldn't fly anymore. She has been very understanding of how important flying has been to me, but I also know it scares her. I couldn't put her through that Sir." replied Harm.

"For once in my life I think I finally understand what makes you tick Commander. I had always thought you were a fool when it came to dealing with the Colonel, but I believe I understand you now.

I think you were probably right about why you didn't want to put her through that, but when someone as special as the Colonel comes into your life Commander, you should seize the moment and not let it go. You should have allowed her a choice in the matter." replied the Admiral.

"Well anyways, I think we should talk about why you're here." began the Admiral.

"Yes Sir." replied Harm despondently.

"You're officially a lawyer again. Unfortunately, I don't have a place for you here currently. The only non shipboard position currently available is in Australia.

The JAG officer stationed there is pregnant and is requesting reassignment closer to home. You will be taking her place as the exchange officer for Brumby." informed the Admiral.

"Yes Sir." moaned Harm.

"It's only for another thirteen months Commander. You have to pay a price for giving up a choice assignment. You need to make up for some of the dings on your record. If you keep your nose clean it will do wonders for your career.

You need to become a team player Commander. What you do affects other people besides yourself. Maybe by the time we have a new SecNav in place, things will be better for you." smiled the Admiral.

He really was enjoying this. Rabb had left him in a lurch when he left. He had been grooming him to be the JAG someday. But when he left it showed him that Rabb wasn't the team player he thought he was.

He had spent a few years building one of the finest staffs around. MacKenzie and Rabb were strong leaders who brought with them strong moral values for the group. Rabb was the main reason he lost the Colonel.

She didn't say anything to him about it, but he knew she missed him. She would still be here if Rabb hadn't left. The staff that he had work so hard to make the best was gone now, destroyed.

Rabb was going to have to pay a price for that. He would make Rabb suffer in the cesspools of all JAG positions until he either quit or until he, the Admiral, retired. But one thing was for sure he wouldn't be coming back here to Headquarters any time soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part five_

Tuesday

7 Dec 1999

Robert's apartment

Bud was getting ready to put baby Aj to bed when the telephone rang. He wondered who could be calling him. Everyone he knew was working. He hoped nothing was wrong at work. He didn't want to go in today.

"Hello, Bud Roberts speaking." greeted Bud.

"Hi Bud, it's Commander Rabb. How are you and the family doing?" greeted Harm. He was getting ready to leave DC. He didn't know when he would be back.

"Commander! Everyone is doing fine Sir. How are you Sir? Are you coming back to JAG Sir?" asked a cheerful Bud in return. "It's been a long time since anyone heard from you Sir."

"I know that Bud. It couldn't be help. I was shot down a few months ago. I was missing in action during that time. I was severely injured, but everything is okay now. I just got back to the states the other day." sighed Harm.

"I'm back with the JAG Corp, but I won't be stationed here in DC for awhile."

"I'm sorry to hear that Sir. I don't believe anyone here knew that you had been shot down." replied Bud.

"I've been MIA for over four months and no one here knew Bud. I find that hard to believe. What about Sarah? What did she think when she didn't hear from me." argued Harm.

"I don't know Sir. She isn't here anymore. She left here last September. I don't think she was very happy here anymore. The impression I got from Harriet was she thought you had moved on with your life.

So she decided to do the same. She was at work on Friday and gone the following Monday. She didn't tell anyone she was leaving Sir. She just left. I really don't understand any of this." whined Bud.

"Sarah's gone? Where did she go Bud?" whined Harm.

"She didn't tell anyone Sir. I think the Admiral is the only one who knows where she is and he's not saying anything." moaned Bud.

"Well I guess that answers a lot of unanswered questions." sighed Harm.

"Sir?" questioned Bud.

"It explains why the Admiral is shipping my six off to Australia Bud. He's still angry with me. First I left, then Sarah left. He blames me for her leaving. Do you think you can find out where she is Bud?" asked Harm.

"I can try Sir, but I'm not sure I'll be able to find her. I don't think she or the Admiral wants anyone to know. I'm sure they have classified her location somehow." replied Bud.

"Thanks Bud. I'll be here until tomorrow. I'm going to visit my mother before I leave for Australia. Say hello to Harriet for me." sighed Harm dejectedly.

"Alright Sir, I'll call you in a couple of days when I find out something." replied Bud.

Friday

10 Dec 1999

Burnett house

La Jolla, California

Since Harm wasn't returning to JAG Headquarters he had decided that there was no reason to keep his apartment in DC. He had spent a couple of days cleaning out his apartment and boxing up everything he owned to be shipped to his mother's place in La Jolla.

He also thought it would be a good time to visit his mother. He hadn't seen her since his trip to Russia. He also was aware that his mother knew that he had been shot down and was reported as missing in action.

He knew that she probably had been scared that he would be lost like his father. He knew he should visit with her before he left for Australia. It would be a few years before he was back her way again.

He knew he was in the Admiral's doghouse. The Admiral was angry with him, maybe, rightfully so. He had left him shorthanded. And then Sarah left not long after. He knew it would be a long time before he got out of the doghouse.

He got out of his rental car and walked up to the front door. He knocked once before walking in. He saw his mother walking into the room to greet him. She had a big smile on her face when she saw him.

"Harm! What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?" asked Trish.

"I came to visit you Mom. I wanted to let you see that I'm okay." smiled Harm.

"I know you must have worried a lot after I was shot down and reported missing." sighed Harm.

"I was worried Harm, but I had a feeling you were okay." replied Trish. "You're a survivor."

"I'm sorry Mom. I hate doing that to you." moaned Harm. "I also wanted you to know that I'm no longer assigned to an air wing. I'm back to being a lawyer."

"Does that mean that you're going to be in Washington DC now ... with Sarah." asked Trish hopefully. She wished Harm would be stationed closer to home, but Washington DC was better than the battle fleet.

As long as he was with Sarah, there was the possibility that they would finally get together and give her the grandchild she so desperately wanted.

"No Mom. I've been assigned to replace a lawyer who is part of an exchange program. I'll be stationed in Australia for the next thirteen months." moaned Harm unhappily.

Trish knew her boy wasn't happy, she could tell. She wondered what was wrong. Did it have anything to do with Sarah? She knew how much he loved her.

"What's wrong Harm?" asked Trish.

"It's Sarah, I don't know where she is Mom. She isn't at JAG Headquarters anymore. No one will tell me where she is or where she went. I need to talk to her." whined Harm.

"She hasn't tried to get in contact with you Harm? Didn't she want to know that you were alright?" asked Trish.

"That's part of the problem Mom. From what I have learned, no one at JAG Headquarters knew I was even missing. She left headquarters about the time I was shot down. The Admiral implied that she left because of me.

She thought I had moved on with my life without her so she moved on too. He told me she was disappointed that I didn't keep in contact with her before I was shot down." moaned Harm.

"Why didn't you Harm? You have always told me how special she is to you. You of all people know how important it is to keep in touch with a love one. You have all the tapes your father sent to us. Without them you wouldn't have gotten to know your father.

I know it's hard sometimes to write or phone home Harm, but it's important to those of us who are left behind to know that you're doing okay. Without hearing from you we worry a lot more." explained Trish.

"I know Mom, I'm sorry that I caused you to worry. Unfortunately sometimes I get so busy I don't know which way I'm going. The only thing I know right now Mom is that I miss her.

I miss her so much. I spent the last three months wondering how she was dealing with me being missing. Now I find out she didn't even know I was shot down. I can't find her to talk to her, to say that I'm sorry for not writing to her.

Now I'm being shipped off to Australia. How am I going to find her if I'm here? How am I going to be able to talk to her if I'm so far out of the loop that no one knows I even exist? I need her Mom." wailed Harm.

"It's okay Harm. Everything will work out. Eventually she will want to talk to you again. You'll be able to make things right. Have Faith Harm, it will be alright." reassured Trish.

Friday

17 Dec 1999

Burnett house

La Jolla, California

Harm was lounging out on the back porch. It never ceased to amaze him how beautiful the view overlooking the beach and the ocean was. He always loved it here even when he was a young teenager who hated his stepfather.

He felt a connection to his father somehow, he didn't know why, he just did. He heard the telephone ringing. Maybe it was Bud. He had been expecting a call from him for several days, hopefully he had some news about Sarah.

Trish picked up the ringing telephone. "Hello!" answered Trish.

"Hello Mrs. Burnett, this Bud Roberts. I'm trying to reach your son Commander Harmon Rabb." greeted Bud in return.

"He's here, hold on for moment while I get him for you." replied Trish. She went out onto the porch and gave Harm the phone.

"It's for you, a Spud Roberts." smiled Trish.

"His name is Bud, Mom." smiled Harm.

Bud had told him about the marine major that replaced him had kept calling him Spud. He thought it had something to do with the major's lack of appreciation of navy squids.

"Hi Bud, what did you find out?" asked Harm anxiously.

"Nothing Sir, only that she's still in the Marine Corp, but her location is classified Sir." replied Bud sighing.

"That could mean that she's working for the CIA Bud. Damm! I really needed to talk to her. I need to explain to her what happened, why I didn't stay in contact with her. I need to apologize to her for screwing up." moaned Harm.

"Yes Sir. I talked to Harriet. She hasn't heard from the Colonel since she left. I can only assume she has made a clean break from JAG Headquarters Sir.

Maybe you're right, if she's working with the CIA. With her language skills she would be a valuable asset to have Sir." replied Bud.

"Damm it Bud, I leave in two days for parts unknown. I really wanted to see her. I need to talk to her. I miss her so much. Once I leave here my chances of seeing her again will be non existent." whined Harm.

"Yes Sir, I understand. Harriet and I miss her too. We missed both of you Sir. I'll keep on trying Sir." replied Bud.

"Thanks Bud, I appreciate all of your efforts." sighed Harm.

Bud hung up the phone and saw Harriet standing there. She had a constipated look on her face. It seemed she didn't understand something.

"What is it Harriet? You look confuse." asked Bud.

"I thought you told me yesterday that you managed to get in contact with the Colonel. Why did you tell the Commander that you didn't?" asked Harriet.

"The Colonel gave me a direct order not to tell him. She told me I am not to help him in any way. She said the Commander needs to figure it out by himself." replied Bud.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part six_

Saturday

18 Dec 1999

Sidney, Australia

A week before Christmas Harm left for his new assignment. He had been assigned to the JAG unit stationed in Australia as part of an exchange program. He was replacing the lawyer who was originally part of the exchange program that brought Brumby to JAG.

It appeared the Lieutenant got herself pregnant and requested a return to the states. She wanted her child born at home near her parents. The fact that Harm was available to replace her allowed her to come home.

Harm wasn't exactly pleased to be going to Australia. He needed to find Sarah. She wasn't at JAG Headquarters anymore. He didn't think it was possible he could miss her this much. He hadn't realized how much a part of his life she had become until she wasn't there anymore.

He had welcomed the opportunity to fly again. At first he was too busy catching up and learning what he needed to know to fly to really miss her. But later on, particularly after his plane went down, she was all he ever thought of.

He wondered what she was thinking. How did she deal with the news of his plane going down? How did she deal with him being missing in action? Is that why he couldn't find her now? Did she run away?

He knew Sarah didn't deal very well with this kind of misfortune. He had thought she was on the edge before he left. Her father had just died. She had seen her mother for the first time in seventeen years.

Chloe had left DC to live with her grandparents in Vermont. Harriet was home taking care of her baby. He was leaving to return to flying. He thought she might have reached her limit for personal loss in her life.

The fact that he was shot down might have sent her packing and running away to parts unknown. Where was she? Where did she go? The only thing he could do was wait until he got to Australia.

Then he would call Bud and see if he knew anything. He needed her. He needed to talk to her. He needed to tell her how much he missed her and wanted her.

Monday

20 Dec 1999

Burnett residence

La Jolla California

A couple of days later Trish receive a telephone call from Sarah. Trish was just coming into the house when she heard the telephone ringing. She was wondering who was calling her so early in the morning.

"Hello, Trish Burnett speaking." greeted Trish.

"Hello Trish, This is Sarah MacKenzie. I'm so sorry for calling you so early, but I needed to talk to you." replied Sarah nervously. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle this.

"That's okay Sarah, it's always so nice to hear from you. Harm was here last week visiting with me. You just missed him. He told me he really misses you Sarah." responded Trish.

She was wondering what she could do to help. She had hoped that Harm would someday marry Sarah and give her the grandchildren that she wanted so badly. She had passed sixty this year. She wanted grandchildren while she was still young enough to enjoy them.

She figured if she didn't find a way to get Harm and Sarah together, she might never have any grandchildren. She knew Harm was deeply in love with Sarah. She was his soul mate. She didn't think Harm would be able to get over Sarah.

"That's nice to hear. He has told me in the past that he should visit you more often. How is he?" asked Sarah softly.

She wanted to know, but she didn't want to show how much she cared. Harm had moved on with his life. He wasn't going to come back to her. She would have to make do with what life had to offer her.

"He's doing okay Sarah. He's back from the fleet. He's a lawyer once again, thank god. He doesn't seem to be very happy though. He's being shipped out to Australia. He told me he wanted to see you before he left. He really misses you Sarah." replied Trish.

"I don't know much about that Trish. I haven't heard from him in over four months. I guess he has moved on with his life. I've moved on with my life." sighed Sarah.

"But that's not what I call to talk about. I need to talk to you about something else a little more important, more personal, but I don't really want to talk to you about it over the phone. I was wondering what your plans were for Christmas." asked Sarah hopefully.

"Do you want to spend Christmas with us?" asked Trish hopefully.

She thought that if she was given the opportunity, she could help straighten out what was going on between Harm and Sarah. She could find a way for them to be together.

"Yes I would like to spend Christmas with you Trish, but I'm not allow to travel right now, so I'm not able to fly to California." replied Sarah.

"So you want us to meet you in DC then?" asked Trish.

She didn't care where they spent Christmas as long as she could solve the problem between Harm and Sarah. She wanted to get them back together. Obviously Harm screwed up somehow again, but he couldn't make it up to Sarah if she wouldn't talk to him.

"I'm not in DC anymore Trish. I'm in Europe." replied Sarah.

"Europe?" exclaimed Trish in surprise.

"Naples, Italy to be more precise." replied Sarah.

"What are you doing there?" asked Trish a little shocked.

"It's complicated Trish. When Harm went back to flying there wasn't any reason for me to stay in Washington anymore so I transferred to Europe. I needed a change and I thought I could use my language skills.

I needed to move on with my life. But that's not why I called Trish. I need to talk to you about something very important, something that might involved you and Frank." explained Sarah.

"What is it Sarah?" asked Trish. She was beginning to worry now.

"I can't tell you over the phone. I'll tell you when you get here." replied Sarah.

"Okay Sarah, if that's what you want. Frank and I can be there in a couple of days. Harm will be happy that I heard from you." chirped Trish. It would be a start in the right direction.

"Please don't tell him Trish. I don't want him to know where I am." pleaded Sarah.

"But why Sarah? He's been frantic about finding you. He said he needed to see you, to talk to you. He misses you so much." argued Trish.

"That's only because I'm not there waiting for him anymore. He made his choice to return to flying tomcats. It was more important to him than being at Jag with me. He decided to move on. I've waited long enough for him, no longer." wailed Sarah.

"Okay Sarah, I won't tell him I talked to you. Frank and I will be there in a couple of days. We'll talk more then. Bye Sarah." sighed Trish in resignation. She wasn't happy with Sarah's decision, but at least she wanted to see her.

First things first. First she would find out what Sarah wanted. Then she would work on getting her talk to Harm. Then they would be able to resolve whatever their problem was. They could get back together, maybe get married, and have children. She could only hope.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part seven_

Wednesday

22 Dec 1999

Sarah's residence

Naples, Italy

A couple of days later Sarah had a fire going in the fireplace. As beautiful as this old place was, it had the tendency to get very drafty during the winter. Sarah never cared much for rooms that were on the cool side never mind being drafty.

It was one of the few things that had bothered her about Harm's apartment. He always like to keep the temperature lower, about sixty five degrees. Sarah like it much warmer, at least seventy three degrees.

She didn't mind too much though. She had Harm trained so he usually would turn up the heat before she stopped over his place. She had thought that he would do just about anything to get her to spend time with him.

If only he would have expressed his real feelings that he had for her, then her world would have been perfect. Unfortunately Harm was either not capable of expressing himself or he was unwilling to tell her how he really felt.

Though he had done a nice job of showing her the night before he left. They had made passionate love for many hours before he had to leave. She had felt so wonderful that night. She thought there was still hope for a long term relationship with Harm.

But like everything else that had happen in her life, what she wanted was not to be. Harm was like all the other losers she had ever gotten close to, he left never to return. At least now she had the baby. The baby would never leave her, at least not for a very long time.

She heard someone knocking at the door. It must be Trish and Frank. They had called from the airport earlier when they arrived in Naples. Frank had arranged for a car to be waiting for them when they arrived.

Sarah had given them directions to her residence. They were going to stay in a hotel in the city, but Sarah convinced them not to bother. Her place was large enough to accommodate them.

She walked over to the door to let them in.

"Trish, Frank, come in please. Let me show you where to put your coats and suitcases."

Trish was the first to enter, followed closely by Frank who had the luggage. Sarah led to them to the closet to put their coats away. She then showed Frank to her guest bedroom so he could put their luggage in.

She then led them back to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. After a few moment Trish noticed something that she hadn't noticed when she first walked in. Sarah was waddling more than walking.

She looked Sarah up and down before coming to her senses. She was beginning to understand why Sarah wanted her to visit her. She wasn't her usual beautiful slender self. She was looking to be much heavier.

"Sarah, ... you're pregnant!" exclaimed Trish. Sarah smiled at her realization.

"I can see where Harm gets his powers of observation from." laughed Sarah.

Frank chuckled also. He had always like Sarah. It always amazed him how easy it was for her to banter with Trish, it was no wonder why Harm was in love with her. She was very beautiful and intelligent. She had a great sense of timing and was quite witty.

"How far along are you Sarah?" asked Trish. "Almost eight months, the baby is due at the end of January, and before you ask, Harm is the father. It's the reason why I have asked you here. I know how much you have wanted grandchildren.

I've heard you tell Harm many times how much you want grandchildren before you were too old to enjoy them. I would never deprive you of spending time with the baby." answered Sarah.

"What about Harm? Why won't you see him or talk to him?" asked Trish.

"He's moved on Trish. I would never want to trap him into marrying me because of the baby. He has to want me for me, not for the baby." wailed Sarah.

"But he does love you Sarah. He spent the last two weeks before he left for Australia looking for you. He wanted to see you and talk to you about why he didn't write to you Sarah. He feels really bad about that.

We talked about that at great length. I told him he of all people should have understood what it's like to be left behind. He wouldn't have gotten to know his father as well as he did if his father didn't send him those letter tapes." argued Trish.

"I know it might seem like he's moved on, but he really hasn't Sarah, at least not in his heart. He's not that way Sarah. When he loves someone, it's forever. He loves you Sarah." explained Trish.

"I don't know about that Trish. I know you love him as a mother, but I know him in ways you will never know him. You tell me he loves me, but he was dating another woman for the last five months before he left to return to flying.

The only reason they broke up was she wanted a full time man in her life. She didn't want to live apart from Harm for six months a year. She wanted him every day. She wanted Harm the lawyer, not Harm the ace pilot.

The only reason we probably slept together the night before he left was because I fell apart and cried in his arms at work because he was leaving. If I was my usual gun ho ass kicking marine, he probably wouldn't have stop by my apartment that night to see how I was doing.

He would have left and not looked back. He may very well love me Trish, but every action he has ever taken has told me otherwise. We have always been good friends, but that's all we will ever be.

I'm sorry Trish, but it's the only truth I see." explained Sarah.

"I'm sorry too Sarah. You're the best thing that has ever happen to him. You should tell him Sarah. He has a right to know that you're having his baby." argued Trish.

"He's the one who left, he was the one who ran away to another life, to follow a dream, a life that doesn't include me Trish. I'm not going to chase after him anymore. If he wants me, to see me, to talk to me, then he's going to have to make the effort to do so.

He has the ability to find me, it's not really that hard. But he has to want it, to do it without relying on others to do it for him.

I don't want you to tell him about the baby or where I am. I do want you to be a part of the baby's life. You're welcome to visit the baby as often as you like as long as you respect my wishes and don't tell Harm." declared Sarah.

Thursday

25 December 1999

Captain Rodgers' Residence

Naples, Italy

Captain Rodgers had invited Sarah to his residence for Christmas. He had decorated a tree and hung assorted Christmas decorations around the house. He wanted to make it very festive for Sarah. He wanted to make a good impression with her.

Sarah had called him a few days later telling him that she had guests coming to visit her for Christmas. Wayne told her to feel free to bring them along, the more the merrier. All he cared about was that Sarah was spending Christmas with him.

It was at this point he made sure to invite a few more of his senior staff to join him for dinner that day. He didn't want to tip his hand too much. The romancing of Sarah MacKenzie needn't be rushed.

1400 hours

Rodgers' Residence

Sarah, Trish, and Frank arrived at the Captain's residence in Frank's limo. It had been a short ride over from Sarah's residence. The weather was sunny, about forty five degrees. A little warm for Sarah, but quite cool for Trish and Frank.

They knocked on the door. The Captain greeted them at the door and smiled when he saw Sarah. He invited them all in.

"Sarah! It's so good to see you. I see your friends made it here alright. Please come on in." greeted Wayne.

"Good afternoon Sir, it was nice of you to invite me and my guests to your house for Christmas dinner. I appreciate it very much, thank you." smile Sarah in return.

Trish looked on with suspicion. They seem a little too cozy together. Had Sarah really moved on as she had said? Was there something going on between them? How was this going to affect Harm in the long run?

God, she wish she could call Harm and tell him to get his six over here right now. Unfortunately she promised Sarah that she wouldn't. She sighed that Harm might not get the opportunity to know his child, like his father didn't know him.

"Please call me Wayne in my own house Sarah." pleaded Wayne.

"Yes Sir." smiled Sarah.

"Let me introduce you to Trish and Frank Burnett. They are the baby's grandparents. They have come all the way from La Jolla, California to spend the holidays with me.

I'm hoping they will be here next month when the baby is born. I'm going to need a lot of help and advice with the baby. I'm not sure I'll do anything right." sighed Sarah. She really did want them to be a part of her baby's life.

"I'm sure you're do just fine Sarah. Harm has told me how wonderful you were with Chloe last year." smiled Trish.

"Chloe was ten years old. That's hardly a baby. She didn't have a problem letting me know what she wanted or thought." sighed Sarah as she thought about how much she missed Chloe.

"Don't worry Sarah, I'll be here for you. I wouldn't miss being here when your baby is born. I've waited for him or her for a long time now. I'm so excited for you." exclaimed Trish, her smile lighting up the room.

"We both are excited for you Sarah. Nothing will keep us from being here for you when the time comes. You can count on us Sarah." added Frank. He was glad to see his wife so happy. She had been a little down after Harm's visit.

"I can assure you both that I won't work Sarah too hard over the next month. Personally I would like her to take the next month off and get ready for the baby, but you know Sarah, she's a marine." smiled Wayne.

"So Trish, how are you and Frank related to Sarah?" asked Wayne.

"By the way of the baby's father. His name is Harmon Rabb." replied Trish.

"Frank is his stepfather. I married him after his father was shot down in Viet Nam." moaned Trish thinking back to the day that she received the bad news.

"I've heard about him. He was considered to be the best young lawyer in the Navy. He was considered the Navy's poster boy. Some of the things I've heard that he has done are legendary." smiled Wayne.

"Sarah has been a part of many of those adventures. The stories Harm has told me ... you would have thought they had been married for many years." sighed Trish. She was disappointed though that they weren't married.

"I look forward to having you tell me about some of your stories Sarah. It will be nice to hear the whole story and not just the press releases and rumors." smiled Wayne as he escorted Sarah into the den.

"That reminds me Trish, there was a pilot that was shot down in Yugoslavia just after labor day this year. He was reported missing for four months before he was finally rescued. I heard he suffered a concussion and broke his arm and leg in several places.

He passed through Naples earlier this month. I actually met with him in the hospital. He was very tall and good looking. I thought it might have been him." said Wayne as he looked at Trish first and then Sarah.

Sarah's breath caught as she heard Wayne talked about Harm. She looked over to Trish with a worried look for confirmation. All this time she hadn't heard from Harm. She never knew he had been shot down. Maybe that was why he hadn't written for so long.

But then again she hadn't heard from him since the first week in August, a month before he had been shot down. As much as she wanted to excuse him she couldn't. Nothing had really change. Harm had still moved on without her.

"Is that true Trish? Did he crash?" asked Sarah.

"Yes Sarah, Harm was the pilot who was shot down. What Captain Rodgers has told us about the pilot tonight, it was Harm. He was missing for four months. He was found in the mountains in Southern Yugoslavia.

He was in a remote area with no modes of transportation. He had to wait until his leg healed before he could walked down the mountain to a goat herder's house. All he could think about all that time was getting home and back to you Sarah." replied Trish.

Sarah sat there stunned. She had to think about what happen. She knew in his own unique way Harm loved her, but was it enough. She wasn't sure. But one thing she did know, things between them hadn't change.

All she kept hearing was how much Harm loved her. If he loved her so much why hadn't he kept in touch with her? Why couldn't he tell her how he felt? The only thing she knew for sure was that until he said the words, he didn't love her.

She was here and Harm was somewhere else. As long as that was the way it was between them she didn't want anyone to tell Harm where she was, not even his mother. She sighed as she realized her life wasn't getting any less complicated.

"I never knew Trish. I don't think anyone at JAG did. I don't really know what I would have done if I had known. Maybe I would have stay there instead of coming here. I don't know. I'm sorry Trish." wailed Sarah.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_Author's note: Patience is a Virtue, everything will be revealed in due course._

_part eight_

Tuesday

27 Jan 2000

Military Hospital

Naples, Italy

A month later Trish and Frank were back in Naples to be with Sarah when her baby was born. They arrived a couple of days early. When it was time they went to the hospital with her and were there when the baby came.

It was a little girl. Sarah named her Veronica. She was seven and a half pounds. She was twenty three inches long. She looked just like Sarah. She had dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was beautiful like her mother.

After a couple of days in the hospital Sarah and Veronica came home. Frank had taken advantage of the time to make sure Sarah had everything she needed for Veronica and that it was properly assembled.

He took great pride in his organizational skills and hard work. It wasn't often he got to use his hands. He loved putting everything together for his granddaughter.

Trish and Frank spent the next six weeks with Sarah helping her with the baby. Trish showed Sarah some of the tricks of the trade for caring for an infant and offering her many years of sage advice. Frank took great delight in seeing them bonding so closely. He loved seeing his wife happy.

It wasn't long before they had to leave and go back to the states. Trish promised Sarah that they would come back to visit several more times. She wept that wouldn't be there everyday for Sarah and Veronica.

She had fallen in love with her grandchild and didn't want to leave her. She was so beautiful and special. She had such a great disposition. She hardly ever cried.

Trish managed to make it back to Italy for all the major holidays. Frank was there for the Fourth, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. They believed that family belonged together at these holidays. Sarah and Veronica were part of their family now.

As much as Trish wanted to tell Harm about Sarah and the baby, she kept her word and resisted the temptation. She respected Sarah's decision. In one respect she understood. Harm had put flying ahead of everything else.

Maybe he didn't deserve to be with Sarah and Veronica. He had afterall abandoned them to fly. Maybe Sarah was right. If Harm wanted to find her bad enough, like he wanted to fly again, he would have done anything to find her. Obviously he hadn't tried hard enough.

In reality she knew some day they would find each other again. It was written in the stars. It was their faith, she truly believed that some day they would be together.

Tuesday

12 Jan 2001

Manila, Philippines

'What a waste of a year' thought Harm as he rode on a navy transport that was taking him from Australia to the Philippines. He had spent the entire year doing basically nothing.

They were very few cases to be tried. The Aussies always came up with deals to avoid going to court. He could never understand why. A good trial always got his juices flowing, it made him feel alive.

He was glad to be leaving that cesspool of trial purgatory. The country was just fine. The weather was beautiful, the women were beautiful as well, but there was no Sarah there. God he missed her. Where was she?

The pain in his heart grew everyday. He missed her so much. He hadn't realized how she had become such an integral part of his life. He had no idea where she was. Even Bud hadn't been able to come up with anything for him other than her location was classified.

What did that really mean? Was she working a covert mission somewhere? Was she working with the CIA? Where was she? Why hadn't she contacted him? Why, why, why? It pained him not to have the answer.

Harm read through his orders. He was being assigned to a JAG unit in the Philippines. Talk about leaving one judicial cesspool to go to another. At least in Oz Americans were like. It wasn't quite the same in the Philippines.

They had some radical groups that wanted all Americans out of their country. Why in the world was he being sent there? Hadn't he already paid his dues for leaving JAG to return to flying? Did the Admiral have a hair up his six.

Maybe this was the Admiral's way of telling him to put his twenty years in and then get the hell out, go into private practice. He sighed as he pondered what he was going to do in a country that spoke another language and their culture was so foreign to him.

He leaned back in his seat to sleep. It was going to be a very long trip. It was going to be another very long year. It was going to be another year that sucked because Sarah wasn't in it. Mentally he screamed his frustration.

It amazed him that one little decision that he thought was the best thing in the world for him over a year and a half ago, had now turned out to be the worst decision he had ever made in his life, a life without Sarah in it.

The last year and a half had been miserable. It looked like the next year was going to be no different. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes to dream about Sarah and a future that might never be.

Wednesday

27 Jan 2001

Naples, Italy

Trish and Frank were in Italy to visit with Sarah and Veronica. It was Veronica's first birthday. They were having a small birthday party for her. It had been a month since their last visit at Christmas.

They had surprised Sarah with presents for her and Veronica. They had even arranged with the Admiral to give Sarah letters from her old friends from Washington. Sarah was pleased to see that she wasn't forgotten.

They had told the Admiral that Sarah had given birth to a little girl name Veronica. Harm was the father, but he didn't know about her. Sarah requested that he keep this information a secret from anyone who inquired about her.

Trish looked around the room. There were six or seven other small children ranging in age from one to three years old. Trish smiled at the sight. So much energy, so much curiosity. It amazed her at that age kids loved each other unconditionally.

"So how are you doing Sarah? Everything going okay with Veronica?" asked Trish.

"Not bad Trish. She's finally sleeping through the night for eight hours, thank God. I've never been one to sleep many hours since I joined the Corp, but Veronica's sleep schedule was ridiculous.

She didn't want to sleep for more than three hours at any given time and she was always hungry. Did you know she consumes at least twice the recommended serving and eats at least two or three more times a day than other children." sighed Sarah.

"Harm was like that. That's all he ever did when he was little. He was always eating something. He was always hungry, but he was a good sleeper. I think the problem today is, the day care people try to get the babies to sleep during the day.

You know it makes it easier for them to handle all the kids. Unfortunately it leaves the kids wide awake at night for the parents. They're ready to be entertained." smiled Trish.

"I didn't know that. I'll have to have a talk with the day care provider tomorrow." smiled Sarah.

"How big is she now?" asked Trish.

"She's twenty six pounds and thirty inches tall. She's getting so big so fast." sighed Sarah. "It's getting harder to pick her up."

"So how's Captain Rodgers doing?" asked Trish.

"Oh, he's doing fine. I think he was hoping for something to develop between us, but I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. Ronnie keeps me too busy and I don't want to miss any more time with her than I have to." replied Sarah.

Trish smiled. There was still hope that Harm and Sarah would get together someday. How that was going to happen she didn't know.

"It's bad enough I have to leave her for nine hours to work. Besides I think there is only one man I would want to share my life with. Eventually if it's meant to be, it will happen." continued Sarah.

They spent the rest of the day watching the children play. Veronica was good about opening her presents and sharing them with her friends. They all had a small piece of cake and a scoop of ice cream.

Trish and Frank spent a week with them before returning home. They had had a great time watching Veronica while Sarah worked. They took her sightseeing, to the park, and even spent a day sailing.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_Author's note: Patience is a Virtue, everything will be revealed in due course._

_part nine_

Friday

25 Jan 2002

Okinawa, Japan

Harm looked at the orders he had just received. He shook his head in complete disbelief. When was the nightmare going to end? Another year, another assignment he didn't want. An assignment in another country in a part of the world he hated.

He wanted to be back in the states. He felt that if he was back in the states he would have a much better chance of finding Sarah. Another year had passed and he still hadn't heard from her or anything about her.

He had kept in touched with Bud hoping that somehow he would find out something. But in the end Bud wasn't able to do anything for him. He still didn't know where she was. He still missed her more than life itself. He was at a loss. He didn't know what to do.

He was at a point of resignation that any chance of a future he might have had with her was now gone. He had definitely blown it. Why did he punish her for not telling him about her first marriage?

Why had he been surprised she was married or had been married? She was a beautiful woman. She was twenty nine when he met her. Why wouldn't she have been married? Not everybody puts off having a loving relationship to follow a childhood dream.

He should have just been there for her. He shouldn't have been so judgmental. He should have just loved her for who she was, not for what she had done as a teenager. He knew she had had a difficult childhood. He should have found a way to understand.

He sighed in frustration as looked at his orders again. He had been reassigned to JAG unit in Okinawa, Japan. He was going to another place where he didn't know the language and didn't care about knowing the culture.

He had been there a couple times before. Both times he had seen the hatred of the people towards the United States. He didn't understand why they bothered in an effort to help a group of ungrateful people.

We had helped them recover from losing the big one over fifty five years ago. We help them rebuild themselves into the second largest economy in the world. What was wrong with these people? What did they want?

Didn't they understand that without an American presence in Japan, the Chinese could invade their country and place them in the same role that they had place the Chinese in so many years ago. Whatever. The hell with them.

Where was Sarah? He needed her. Why didn't she try to contact him? What possibly could she be doing? Was she with the CIA? What possible mission could she be on that she couldn't contact him?

When was it all going to end? When would he be with Sarah again, the woman he loved? Hadn't he paid the price for being foolish enough to throw away the best thing that ever happen to him for a childhood dream.

Another year in Purgatory. Another year without his love.

Sunday

27 Jan 2002

Naples, Italy

Trish and Frank were in Italy to visit with Sarah and Veronica. It was Veronica's second birthday. They were having a small birthday party for her. There were a few more kids this year, but their ages were about the same.

Sarah was please to see them. They were like the parents she always wished she had. They were good people. Why Harm never spent more time with them she didn't understand. But then again Harm had been fixated on finding his dad for so many years and flying.

He never did take the time to get to know Frank. Maybe he was in denial, that is, if he didn't recognized Frank being married to his mother, his father would still be alive, he wouldn't be dead. Not particularly a healthy way to live, but to each his own.

"So how is Harm? Have you heard from him lately?" asked Sarah.

"He really misses you Sarah, it's all he talks about whenever he calls. He wonders why you won't contact him. He says he's tried to find you, but he hasn't had any success. He thinks you must be working with the CIA on some covert undercover mission." wailed Trish.

"If he really wanted to find me he could. He just needs to look in the right spot. I guess he hasn't figured that out yet." sighed Sarah.

"But Sarah, he misses you. He needs you. Don't you think it's time he knew about Veronica. She's his child too." argued Trish.

"His child? We spent one night together Trish. I wasn't using any birth control because I hadn't been in a relationship in over a year and a half. I had thought Harm might have loved me after our trip to Russia.

He had shown a side of himself I had never seen before. He looked like he was ready for a relationship. I had hoped it was with me, but I guess I was wrong. He went into a shell after he returned from California.

He never opened up to me again until the night he left to fly. I don't know if he loved me then or he didn't know if he would ever have another chance to be with me.

He was dating someone else before he left to fly. I was just his friend. That's all I have ever been to him. Someone to fight with when he gets frustrated. He has never shown me that he loves me.

I cried in his arms the day the he left JAG. For some reason he showed up at my apartment that night. We talked for awhile. Later we made love. He left the next morning and I haven't seen him since.

He stayed in contact with me for the first two months, but then he stopped. I hadn't heard from him in over a month before I decided to leave.

That's not love to me Trish. I needed him to stay Trish, but he left. Flying was more important to him than being with me. It's up to him to find his way back to me if he really loves me. I'm sorry Trish, but it's the way it has to be." replied Sarah.

"I'm sorry too." sighed Trish.

15 Nov 2002

Burnett's residence

La Jolla, California

Sarah knocked on the door to Trish's house. She had transferred to Miramar, a few miles away. She had stopped in to let Trish know that she would be able to spend more time with Veronica now since they were only a few miles away.

"Sarah ! What a pleasant surprise to see you. What are you doing here?" greeted Trish.

"I've been transferred to Miramar. I wanted to let you know." replied Sarah with a smile. She knew this would make Trish happy.

"Come in dear and sit down." ordered Trish as she gave Sarah a hug and then bent down to hug Veronica.

"Where are you going to live Sarah?" asked Trish hoping she could convince Sarah to live here with her and Frank.

"Probably in base housing. The have some nice accommodations there. Everything I own in Italy is being shipped to the base." replied Sarah.

"Nonsense dear, you'll live here. We have plenty of room. Frank and I would love to have you." pleaded Trish.

"It's not an imposition?" asked Sarah not really surprised.

"Of course not dear, it will be perfect. And we'll get to see Ronnie everyday. I could look after her a couple days a week." chirped Trish happily.

"Ronnie, would you like to live here with Grammy and Grampy?" asked Sarah.

"You'll have your own bedroom and the beach is out back. I know how much you love playing in the sand." added Trish.

"Is this where Daddy lives?" asked Veronica. She hoped she would see him. All she had was a picture of him on a bedside stand.

"When he was younger, but not anymore sweetie." replied Trish.

"Is he coming back?" asked Veronica. All her friends at daycare had daddies. She wanted her daddy too.

"Someday sweetie, someday he will come home and give you a big hug and kiss." wailed Trish.

Veronica looked over to Sarah and gave her a look, as to say is that true Mommy? Sarah nodded her head in the affirmative.

"Okay Grammy, I'll stay here with you. Daddy should find me here." smiled Veronica. Trish gave her a thank you hug.

"Would you like to see the bedroom you will have Ronnie?" asked Trish.

Veronica said "Yes." She along with Sarah followed Trish upstairs to bedroom. Inside was a room set up for a small child. It was beautiful. Sarah looked at Trish.

"I had hoped that one day you would come for a visit. I wanted to be ready." smiled Trish.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_Author's note: Patience is a Virtue, everything will be revealed in due course._

_part ten_

_Author's note: your patience will soon to be rewarded_

5 Feb 2003

Honolulu, Hawaii

Finally thought Harm. He was a plane to Hawaii. After three miserable years away from the states he was returning home, well almost home. It wasn't California or DC, but it wasn't a bad place to be stationed either.

After three shitty duty assignments he was due for a good one, thank God. Though he didn't know what he did to deserve Hawaii, he wasn't going to complain. Now only if he could find out where Sarah was and talk to her, his life would be perfect.

At least he thought his chances would be much better of finding her if he was in the states. He would have to give Bud a call and see if he knew anything. He would have to congratulate him and Harriet.

He was happy to hear that they had another baby, a girl that they name Sarah, after his marine. They were also expecting another child later in the year. If that was the case maybe Bud knew where Sarah was. He could only hope.

The only good thing to happen to Harm while he was in Japan was, he met up with Caitlin Pike a few times. She was still a pistol, wild and crazy, like he used to be before he met Sarah.

Harm figure he would give himself a few more months to find Sarah. If he didn't, then maybe it was time to move on. It had been almost four years since he last saw her before he left to return to flying.

It had been a glorious night. He had gone over to her apartment. He had been concerned about her. She had cried in his arms in the office. Sarah was a Marine, Marines never cry.

They spent a couple hours talking before finally they began kissing, gently at first, then more passionately. Before he knew what was happening, they were in her bed making wild and passionate love all night long.

He hated to leave her then, but he had too. He had already committed to returning to a carrier to fly. There wasn't anything he could do about it. He had just hope she would be there when he returned.

Yeah right. She left shortly after he left. Where did she go? Parts unknown was all he knew. The thing was she wasn't there when he returned. No one knew where she was or if they did, they weren't talking.

4 July 2003

Honolulu, Hawaii

It had been four years since Harm last saw Sarah. He had finally come to the conclusion that it was time to move on with his life. It was obvious even to him now that he had blown his chance with Sarah. She didn't want him anymore.

It was time to forget about Sarah. It was time to begin life anew with another woman. He had met someone a few weeks ago while shopping for his mother's birthday. Her name was Cassandra.

She was a tall lanky blond, quite beautiful with long hair. He had asked her to join him for the holiday weekend. They had spent time getting to know each other. She liked photography and skydiving.

Harm promised to take her flying some weekend in a small biplane. He promised her she would love it. Tonight they would lay on a blanket on the beach under the stars and watch the fireworks from the base.

It was supposed to the best they ever had. It was tough though. He had spent several years with Sarah at the Mall watching the fireworks. He still missed her and wondered where she was and what she was doing.

But he had resigned himself to the fact that he might never see her again. It wasn't something he liked to think about, but unfortunately it was something he was going to have to learn to live with.

It was hard to forget about Sarah, but he had a new woman in his life now. She would help him forget Sarah. Time spent with another would cure all old wounds. It was time to look forward, not back.

Fisherman's wharf

San Francisco, California

Frank had invited Sarah and Ronnie to go with him and Trish to San Francisco for the fourth of July weekend. They had spent most of the weekend sightseeing. They walked down the crookest street in the world, Lombard St, before walking back around the waterfront to take the streetcars to city hall.

Ronnie loved the streetcar. She could see everything. When she was riding in a car, she was usually sitting too low to see anything. This was great, especially seeing grown people chasing after the streetcar trying to catch it so they could jump on.

On the fourth they sat on a blanket down by the bay to watch the fireworks display. Sarah had heard that they were the best in the country. The fireworks were shot up into the air from a barge in the middle of the bay near Alcatraz.

She wasn't disappointed. They were fantastic. Ronnie had a ball after she adjusted to the loud noises they made. Frank told her that in over fifty years they had never had an accident or injury from the exploding firework. No other place had that kind of track record.

19 Dec 2004

Honolulu, Hawaii

Harm was sitting in his office thinking about what he was going to do about Christmas. He was thinking about going home to visit his mother. Cassandra, his lady friend of the last eighteen months, wouldn't be around for the holidays this year.

Things were getting very serious between them. He had been thinking about asking her to marry him over the holidays, but she was going home to visit her mother who had been ill. So he thought he would wait now until after the holidays until Valentines Day. He could think up something special.

It had been five years since the last time Harm had been home to see his mother. It always pained him when he didn't see his mother. He did love her, but he always felt he had to live his own life, not a life his mother wanted him to live.

Maybe if he had gotten married and had children when he was younger, things would have been different. The telephone began to ring on his desk. He wondered who could be calling. He would be leaving for home in fifteen minutes.

He picked up the phone. "Hello, Commander Rabb speaking."

"Commander Rabb, this is your mother speaking. Are you coming home this year for Christmas?" pleaded Trish. "I miss you honey."

"Hi Mom, I was just thinking about you. I was contemplating the idea of coming home this year. I know it has been a few years. I do miss seeing you Mom." moaned Harm.

"I miss you too Harm. I have a special Christmas planned this year." wailed Trish.

"Special huh!" smiled Harm. God only knows what that means.

"Yeah, I have two very special surprises in fact. I know you will love them when you see them." wailed Trish hoping that Harm would say yes. She knew if only he would come home, his prayers would be answered.

"All right Mom, I'll be there. I'll fly into San Diego within the next couple of days." smiled Harm. He knew that would be the best gift he could ever give her.

"Okay Harm. I'll have Frank send a limo for you. I love you Harm." cried Trish.

"I love you too Mom." replied Harm.

Trish went dancing and singing throughout the house. Frank looked on a little shock. What had gotten into her? Was she getting senile in her old age.

"What are you doing Trish? Are you alright?" asked Frank.

"Yes Frank, I'm just happy. My baby is coming home for Christmas." sighed Trish.

"You mean Harm." replied Frank looking for confirmation.

"Yes Frank. Don't tell Sarah, I want it to be a surprise." sang Trish.

"Yes dear." replied Frank. He was happy to see Trish, his love, happy.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_Author's note: Patience is a Virtue, everything will be revealed in due course._

_part eleven_

_Author's note: your patience is about to be rewarded._

22 Dec 2004

Burnett's residence

La Jolla, California

A few days later Harm made his way to the front door. He sighed as he realized it was good to be home. As he got ready to ring the door bell the door open. It was his mother with a very large smile on her face.

"Harm! You're here! I've missed you so much." greeted Trish as she threw her arms around his neck.

"I've miss you too Mom." replied Harm as he returned the hug.

"Come in and sit down Harm. Let me get you something to drink." offered Trish. Harm smiled as he followed her inside.

Harm and his mother talked for awhile catching up with what was going on in their lives. That is everything except that Sarah and Veronica were living with her and Frank in the house. That he had a four year old daughter named Veronica, soon to be five in another month.

Sarah had Harm's old room overlooking the beach. She loved the room. It gave her a sense of closeness to Harm. Veronica was in the room across the hall from hers. Trish had Harm's bags taken upstairs to the guestroom.

After a little while Harm noticed a small dark haired girl walked into the room. She moved a little shyly when she saw Harm sitting in the chair. 'He was talking to her grandmother. Who was he?' she thought to herself.

She walked over to Trish and climbed up into her lap. He looked familiar to her, but she wasn't sure who he was. They whispered back and forth for a few minutes, pausing every now and then to look over in his direction.

Harm watched with interest the small girl with his mother, she could have been his if only he had only told Sarah how much he loved her. The little girl and his mother seem to be having a good time. He sighed in resignation.

He began to think back about Sarah. He hadn't thought about her in a long time. How he had blown any chances they could have had to be together. He shouldn't have gone back to flying.

It had been a very bad mistake. Even though he loved flying and was still one of the best, it had cost him too much, his marine.

Before he knew what was happening a fifty pound little girl had quickly moved across the room and landed in his lap knees first. If it hadn't been for his quick reflexes his family jewels would have been screaming bloody murder.

(Fifty pounds you say, quite heavy for a five year, not really when her father is six feet four inches and her mother is five feet nine inches tall)

"Who are you little lady?" asked Harm with a smile.

"My name is Veronica. I'm almost five years old. Are you my Daddy?" replied Veronica. Harm sat there stunned for a few moments.

"What?" asked Harm. He was stunned.

"Are you my Daddy? You look like the man in the picture with my Mommy." replied Veronica.

Harm didn't know what to say. He certainly didn't expect her to ask him that question. Harm sat there looking stunned for a few moments.

He looked at her a little more closely. It couldn't be. She did bear a resemblance to Sarah, but it couldn't be. They had only spent one night together. He had used protection or so he thought.

He looked over to his mother with a perplexed look.

"Ronnie, why don't you go upstairs to your room and get the picture on your night stand and show it to Harm." smiled Trish.

"Okay!" chirped Veronica as she got up out of his lap and ran up stairs.

Harm groaned as Veronica had stood up in his lap and jumped off. That hurt a little thought Harm. Did all little kids get on and off adult laps like that. He moaned at the thought. Once again she came close to inflicting harm to his little soldier.

Once again he looked over to her.

"Mom?" asked Harm.

"Have a little patience Harm. It will all come clear to you in a few moments. She has been waiting for you all her life." replied Trish.

"Mom!" pleaded Harm.

"Harm!" laughed Trish in return.

Harm sat there shaking his head. His mother could be difficult at times, usually whenever he needed answers. Who was this little girl? Who was her mother? Why was she here?

A few minutes later Veronica came racing into the room jumping into his lap with a thud. Harm groaned. He wasn't use to this, though he did like the idea of have a child who needed him.

Veronica squirmed around in his lap trying to get comfortable before she showed him the picture. He moaned again. It was a picture of him and Sarah in their gypsy costume when they were in Russia. Where in the world did she get this picture from he wondered?

"See, you look just like him." explained Veronica as she pointed to the man in the picture.

"Mommy said he is my father and that some day he would come home to me." explained Veronica. She looked up at him.

"Are you my father? Have you come home?" asked Veronica sweetly.

Harm really didn't know how to answer those questions. The picture was definitely of him and Sarah. She said he was her father.

He couldn't believe the way she looked at him with those beautiful brown eyes. She was looking at him the same way Sarah always looked at him when she wanted something. She was doing that funny little thing with her mouth too.

He shuddered for a moment with the realization he would never be able to refuse her anything. He had only known Veronica for only a few moments and he was already in love with her. She was so adorable. Then his brain began working again.

That meant ... that ... Sarah had to be her mother, but how? Then another thought came to his mind. If Sarah was Veronica's mother, ... and Veronica was here, ... then where was Sarah? He looked over to his mother who just smiled with amusement as she watched his mind work out the answers.

He looked at Veronica and asked "Where is your mother?"

"Outside on the patio." she replied. She was still waiting for an answer thought Harm.

"That does look like me in the picture, maybe I am your father." replied Harm with a small smile.

"Yippee!" shouted Veronica as she stood up in Harm's lap causing him to groan as her foot came very close to causing him intense pain. She gave him a big hug before leaping off his lap. He couldn't believe her strength.

She grabbed his hand to pull him up to follow.

"She's just like you Harm. She never sits still very long." smiled Trish.

Harm rolled his eyes at that comment. He couldn't remember ever having this much energy. Veronica ran ahead while Harm followed her out onto the porch.

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy is here!" cried out Veronica.

Harm watched her run over to her mother. He expected her to jump into her lap, but he was surprised when she sat down very nicely on the side of the lounge chair with Sarah.

Sarah had been reading a novel so she hadn't noticed the commotion going on inside the house.

"What baby?" asked Sarah as she pulled Veronica up into her lap. She gave her a hug and kiss.

"Daddy's here! He came home! Just like you said he would!" exclaimed Veronica excitedly.

"Harm is here?" asked Sarah a bit surprise.

"Daddy!" replied Veronica as she pointed to Harm in the picture and then towards where Harm was standing.

Sarah's breath caught in her throat. It had been over five years since she had seen him last. She had always expected this day would come, but now that it had, she was completely taken by surprise. What was she going to do?

She wasn't wearing any makeup. Her hair must be a mess. She wasn't exactly dressed to see him especially after five years. She was afraid to turn around and look. She was afraid of what she might see.

Meanwhile Harm stood there admiring the view. He loved the way Sarah and Veronica were interacting. They were so great together. He always knew she would be a great mother. Sarah was special. Any child would be privilege to have her as a mother.

She still looked so beautiful. She hadn't aged a day in five years. He was afraid to say anything. He didn't know what to say. He certainly didn't want to say the wrong thing.

Harm walked over to where Sarah was sitting with Ronnie. Harm smiled at her before saying "Hello Sarah."

Sarah brushed a hand through her hair nervously before responding

"Hi Harm, what are you doing here?"

But before Harm could respond Ronnie reached up to Harm and demanded "Up!"

"She must be a marine." chuckled Harm as he picked Ronnie up and held her in his arms. "I thought it was time to come home and visit my mother. It has been five years since I last saw her.

I am surprise to see you here though. I have been looking for you since I returned from flying five years ago." sighed Harm as he sat down in the chair next to Sarah.

"What are you doing here?"

Before Sarah could answer Ronnie piped up. "We live here Daddy. Grammy was lonely and needed company." Harm looked at Sarah a little puzzled.

"I'm stationed at Miramar. Your mother asked us to stay with her and Frank. She likes spending time with Ronnie and Ronnie loves her." replied Sarah.

"I love Grammy." agreed Ronnie nodding.

"I can tell. I know she loves you. She waited twenty years for you." smiled Harm as Ronnie looked at him bug eyed.

"I've only known you for thirty minutes and I already loved you." smiled Harm as he gave her a hug.

"I love you too Daddy." replied Ronnie as she cuddled closer to Harm.

Sarah looked on with a sense of pleasure. Indeed it had only been a short time and already Harm and Ronnie were bonding like they had spent years together. A tear came to her eye. Maybe there was hope for them yet.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_Author's note: Patience is a Virtue, everything will be revealed in due course._

_part twelve_

24 Dec 2004

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, Ca.

Harm spent the next couple of days getting to know Ronnie inside and out. He talked with Sarah about what had happen in their lives the last five years. They spent time playing on the beach, taking walks, and sailing in the marina.

"So what happen Sarah? Where did you go? I tried to find you, but I couldn't. I missed you so much." asked Harm.

"I could say the same thing about you Harm. You promised me that you would write to me weekly and e-mail me daily. I understand that you can get busy and not have time everyday to e-mail me, but I haven't heard from you in over five and a half years." began Sarah.

"I got shot down Sarah. I was hurt pretty badly. It was four months before I was able to walk down a mountain to be rescued. When I got back you were gone." replied Harm a bit frustrated.

"I was gone because I was four months pregnant with your child and you weren't here. You didn't write for at least a month before you were shot down Harm. I didn't want to answer questions from anyone at the office about being pregnant and who the father was.

I figured that you had moved on with your life and you weren't coming back. I had to get away." wailed Sarah.

"I'm sorry Sarah, I didn't know. I did get busy, but that's no excuse. I should have made a better effort writing to you. It was one of the things my mother drilled into my head after I got back.

I still don't understand why I didn't. Fear, I guess. Where did you go?" asked Harm after apologizing.

"I went back to Europe, to Naples. I was stationed in Europe before. I like it there. There is so much culture. Life moves at a more leisurely pace. I got to use my language skills more over there." explained Sarah.

"I was in Naples for a week after I was rescued. I was disappointed that no one came to see me. You were all I thought about while I was waiting to be rescued. I wanted to see you so much." moaned Harm.

"I didn't know Harm. I don't think anyone did. The Admiral was really upset that you decided to leave Jag. He didn't want to hear anything about you while you were gone. I only found out you were there later when your mother visited me at Christmas." replied Sarah.

"Christmas! You mean my mother has known where you have been for the last five years!" yelled an upset Harm.

"Harm, please don't! Don't blame your mother. I told her not to tell you where I was. This was between you and me." pleaded Sarah trying to calm Harm down. "She wanted to tell you, but she respected my wishes."

"Why Sarah?" asked Harm.

"Because you left me Harm. You left me and Ronnie behind to fulfill a dream you had as a child. You chose to fly rather than to be with me." wailed Sarah.

"I thought you understood Sarah why I had to return to flying." whined Harm.

"I did Harm, that's why I didn't stop you, but it didn't make the pain go away when you put flying ahead of me. It's why I told your mother not to tell you where I was.

I need someone who would put me first Harm. Until you were willing to put me first before everything else, there could be no future for us. I didn't want to trap you because I had your baby. I needed to know that you loved me and wanted me above all else." wailed Sarah.

"I tried to find you." moaned Harm.

"You didn't try hard enough Harm." replied Sarah.

"Well it's not easy when you're in the Admiral's doghouse for three years and you're assigned to the cesspools of the world as punishment." moaned Harm.

Later that night after talking for hours, they went upstairs to Sarah's room. All the old feelings were still there between them. At first all Harm was hoping for was to kiss Sarah goodnight.

But a friendly goodnight kiss morphed into a heavy passionate kiss. Before they knew it they were on Sarah's bed taking off all their clothes. It wasn't long before they were making passionate love that lasted long into the night.

0900 hours

25 Dec 2004

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, Ca.

Harm was sitting in a chair with his arms wrapped around Sarah. They were watching Ronnie as she was busy unwrapping her presents. Harm watched in amazement. Ronnie was like a precision marine as she quickly, but neatly removed all the wrapping.

She was so much like Sarah. Not only did she look like a miniature Sarah, but all her mannerisms were the same too. The only difference he could see was, she didn't suffer from the insecurities of being raised in a house of horrors.

"I wished I knew you and Ronnie were going to be here Sarah. I would have gotten you both something." sighed Harm.

"Harm, she has everything. Your mother and Frank have seen to that. The best present you could have given her, is being here with her today. She loves you Harm. It's the only thing she wanted for Christmas." replied Sarah as she gave him a kiss.

"As for me last night was pretty special. Add to that, seeing you and Ronnie bonding, I have never been happier. Thank you Harm." smiled Sarah as she cuddled more into Harm's chest and arms.

"Thank you Sarah for giving me the greatest gift a man could ever get, a beautiful and loving daughter." replied Harm as he kissed her.

27 Dec 2004

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, Ca.

A couple of days later, after a very wonderful Christmas enjoyed by all, a tall lanky blond showed up at the Burnett's residence. Harm was surprised to see her there. The woman, Cassandra Popperson, he had thought, had gone home to see her mother last week.

She was supposed to spend all her time with her mother. What was she doing here? Harm's mind was screaming. What was he going to do? How was he going to explain her to Sarah?

All the hard work that he had done this week to make it right with Sarah could quickly disappear if Sarah took Cassandra's visit the wrong way.

"Come in Cassandra. Why are you here?" he asked.

'Why couldn't you have stayed away? Why couldn't you have just gone back to Hawaii. He could have talked about the holidays then. He still had another week to spend with Sarah. A week to get everything worked out.'

"My mother had other plans. She decided to go skiing in Colorado." replied Cassandra.

"Isn't she a little old to be skiing?" asked Harm.

"What? No silly, she's only forty five." replied Cassandra.

Harm had to do some quick math in his head. He knew Cassandra was young, but he had thought she was at least thirty, give a take a few years. Agh ... ! he thought to himself. Sarah was going to kill him.

"Harm! Who's at the door?" yelled Sarah.

"A friend from Hawaii." replied Harm.

"Well invite him in. We're having dessert in the living room." ordered Sarah.

Harm shuddered at the thought of how Sarah was going to kill him. A hundred images flashed quickly through his mind.

"Come in Cassie, as you heard they're serving dessert. I hope you're hungry. Mom has been cooking all day." fibbed Harm struggling with what to say.

'He and Cassandra had gotten pretty close. But how would she deal with seeing Sarah and his daughter Ronnie.'

They walked into the room. There were only two places left to sit. One was next to Sarah and the other was in a single occupant chair. Harm offered her the chair before going over to sit next to Sarah. He was hesitant as he saw the look on her face.

"Aren't you going to introduce your FRIEND to us Harmon?" asked Sarah. Harm could tell Sarah was upset with him by her tone.

She whispered to him "Why didn't you tell us that she was coming?"

"I didn't know she was. She went home to see her mother." whispered Harm.

Cassandra sat there wondering 'What was going on? What had she interrupted? Who was this woman that Harm was talking to? They seem too close in her opinion.' Harm and Sarah whispered for a few minutes more before he realized he hadn't introduce Cassandra.

"Everyone, this is Cassandra. She's a friend of mine from Hawaii. She runs a fashion store in Honolulu, a few miles from the base. We met last year. Cassandra, to your right is my mother Trish and her husband Frank.

Next is my grandma Sarah with my best friend at the academy Jack Keeter." smiled Harm wanly.

Jack gave her his famous flyboy smile. 'Wow!' he thought to himself. 'I need to get to know her better, she's beautiful.'

Harm may have been dating her before, but it looks like he's back with Sarah. Besides, despite what Harm tells people, he really prefers brunettes.

"Nice to meet you Cassandra. I hope you will be staying for awhile." smiled Jack.

"Nice to meet you too. I don't know how long I will be staying." sighed Cassandra.

The last thing she wanted was another skirt chasing Romeo. They wined and dined you for a while, but sooner or later they became bored and leave. She had learned to spot them a hundred miles away. Usually she could avoid them.

"And here is Sarah MacKenzie and her daughter Veronica." sighed Harm as he finished the introductions.

He was hoping that Cassandra wouldn't find out Veronica was his. The last thing he wanted right now was a fight between Cassandra and Sarah.

But what he had hoped for wasn't going to last long. Veronica had finished her dessert, a bowl of ice cream and a small piece of blueberry pie, she had other ideas. She placed her bowl on the table.

Next thing Harm knew she had bounded up onto his lap causing him to moan as she managed to miss the unintended target again. Cassandra and everyone laughed when Veronica jumped into his lap. They all saw he wasn't expecting it.

But Cassandra froze when she heard Veronica say "Daddy, can we go outside and make sand castles on the beach. You said we would after we had dessert."

Harm saw the shocked look on Cassandra's face. Then the look of recognition that Sarah was the long lost love of his life. There was nothing he could do about it right now. Veronica came first while he was here. Whatever she wanted, Harm would give her.

"Sure baby, that sounds like a great idea." replied Harm

"Come on Mommy, you too. Let's see who can make the best castle." chirped Veronica excitedly.

All Cassandra could do was sit there and watch politely. She knew she didn't belong here. She wanted to run away as fast as she could, but she was raised with better manners than that.

Now it all came back to her who Sarah MacKenzie was. She was the woman Harm was pining over when she first met him. The woman he had loved and couldn't find. The woman who would always have his heart.

She would stay for awhile and visit, but later she would make her excuses and leave. What chance of happiness she had hoped for to have with Harm was gone. She couldn't complete with the woman of his dreams and their child.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_Author's note: Someone mention e-mail, yes, it I thought about that when I wrote the story. Mac will explain the concept._

_part thirteen_

Later that evening while everyone was outside talking Harm caught Sarah in the kitchen to talk to her. He wanted to explain to her why he was dating Cassandra. That he had given up all hopes of finding her.

"Sarah, we need to talk about this." pleaded Harm.

"Talk about what Harm? That once again you lied to me. When were you going to tell me about her Harm? We made love last night and you told me you love me. Then I find out you have a blond bimbo on the side.

It's Jordan all over again. She was gone and you came to me. Your friend wasn't here with you, so you turned to me. And once again you're leaving." yelled Sarah.

"I'm sorry Sarah. I tried to find you for four years. I finally gave up. I thought I blew any chance I had with you. I thought you had moved on without me. That was the only reason I started dating Cassandra.

I just didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I never realized how important you were to me until you weren't there anymore. I've missed you so much." wailed Harm.

"What do you mean you had no way of contacting me Harm? All you had to do was log onto the computer and e-mail me Harm!" yelled Sarah in total disbelief.

"I didn't have your e-mail address Sarah. How could I? You were gone before I got back." whined Harm.

"Do you have your computer here with you Harm?" asked Sarah knowing that he did.

"Yes, it's up in my room. I always take it with me." replied Harm wondering why she wanted his computer.

"Get it! I'll show you how easily you could have contacted me if you really loved me." ordered Sarah shaking her head in disbelief.

Harm went upstairs and retrieved his computer. He brought it back down and opened it up. In the meantime Sarah had retrieved her computer out of her office and had it set up.

"Do you remember my e-mail account?" asked Sarah.

"I think so." replied Harm.

"Try to e-mail me." ordered Sarah.

Harm type '' in the address line. He then typed 'Hello Sarah, How are you? I miss you very much. Where are you? Harm.' He then sent the e-mail.

"Lookie here, I have mail. Gosh, it's from . I wonder what it says." smirked Sarah at the sound announcing that she had mail.

"I don't understand." replied Harm in confusion.

"It tells me that you never tried to e-mail me in the last five years Harm. But I'll give you a break and assume that you didn't remember my e-mail address until just now.

I know how forgetful a man of your advancing years can be. There is another method you could have used to send me an e-mail." explained Sarah.

Sarah took the computer from Harm. She went to the e-mail page. She then clicked on the e-mail address book. Harm had it set on the local JAG e-mail address book. It only contained those people working at JAG headquarters Hawaii.

Sarah changed the e-mail address book from local, Hawaii, to the global JAG e-mail address book. It listed everyone associated with JAG worldwide. She paged down to MacKenzie, Sarah and clicked on her name bringing up her address.

She stepped back to look at Harm. He had followed along with what she was doing. He felt like an ass. He had known about this option, but hadn't realized that his computer had been set to the local e-mail addresses the last five year. No wonder why he couldn't find her.

"All you had to do was e-mail me Harm. I've been right here in the same place all along." sighed Sarah in disgust.

"I'm sorry Sarah. I didn't realize I was on the local setting. The IT people always set up my computer everywhere I went because I couldn't find people. I never realized that they never set it to the global address. No wonder why I couldn't find you." moaned Harm.

"I suggest you find Veronica and spend as much time getting to know her as you can Harm. She is a special child. You've missed so much of her life. You're going to be leaving her soon. It will make her happy." ordered Sarah.

Sarah didn't want to be anywhere near him at the moment. She was upset and disappointed that Harm hadn't stop to think. If he had surely he would have worked the problem out and come up with a solution.

"What about you Sarah?" asked Harm.

"What about me Harm? You've decided to move on again." replied Sarah. She didn't want to be having this discussion.

"I've missed you Sarah, more than I can possibly tell you. I want to spend some more time with you too." whined Harm.

"I don't think that's a good idea Harm. Your girlfriend won't like it." moaned Sarah.

She didn't like the way she was feeling right now. It had been more than five years since she had seen him. She had been skittish when he first arrived. But slowly everything came around until they made love Christmas Eve.

But that all change when his girlfriend showed up. She felt like a fool once again. Once again she had shown him how much she loved him, but was hurt in return. She didn't know what she was going to do.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part fourteen_

Saturday

12 Mar 2005

Burnett Residence

La Jolla, California

A few months later Harm had a big meeting in Washington. He decided he might as well stop in La Jolla to see Sarah and Veronica on the way. He missed them so much. He had to find a way to be with them.

When he returned to Hawaii, he swore to himself he would e-mail Sarah everyday and write at least one letter to her and Ronnie each week. Somehow he had managed to follow through on his lofty goal.

In one of his letters he explained his relationship with Cassandra. He also wrote to Sarah that they had broken up upon his return to Hawaii. Cassandra didn't want any part of a man whose heart belonged to another woman.

To Sarah, it was like a healing tonic. Her heart once again was happy as Harm wrote to her everyday. Some days it was only a line or two, but to her it let her know Harm was thinking about her everyday.

She would read all the letters Harm sent to her to Ronnie to let her know Daddy was thinking of her. Sarah never saw Ronnie so happy. It made her even happier herself. Now how could they be together.

It was rumored that Chegwidden was stepping down soon to spend more time with his daughter. There was to be a dining out party for him. All senior JAG officers O-5 and above were expected to attend.

Harm walked in the front door. He wanted to surprise Sarah and Ronnie, but he should have known better. No sooner than he had taken several steps into the foyer, Ronnie came charging into the room at warp speed.

Harm barely had time to put his bags down to meet the little torrent.

"Daddy! What are you doing here? Mommy didn't say you were coming." questioned Veronica with her little arms still wrapped around his neck.

"I wanted to surprise you sweetie. Where is your mother?" replied Harm.

"She's working Daddy. How long are you staying Daddy?" asked Veronica.

"I can only stay for a couple of days. I have a meeting in Washington DC." replied Harm as he noticed the look of disappointment on Ronnie's face.

"I believe your mother is going there too. I was hoping to talk to her about you going with us." smiled Harm. Ronnie's face lit up with a smile just like the one he had seen on Sarah when she was very happy.

Harm still had difficulty believing Ronnie was his little girl. She looked so much like her mother. Sarah has done a wonderful job raising her. He knew she would be a great mother. Ronnie confirmed it.

"I'm going to go to Washington DC with you and Mommy?" Veronica asked looking for confirmation.

"I have to talk to her first sweetie. We need to keep it a secret until then, okay." smiled Harm.

"Okay." replied Veronica as she gave him another hug.

Later that night Sarah returned home. She was greeted by Ronnie as usual.

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy is here!" chirped Veronica excitedly.

"Harm is here? I wonder why he's here. He didn't tell me he was coming." replied Sarah a little puzzled.

"He's taking us to Washington DC. We're dining out with the Admiral." answered Veronica.

"Hymm ... I suppose you weren't suppose to tell me huh?" asked Sarah. A look of disappointment came across Veronica's face.

"It's alright sweetie. I know you're just excited that your father is here. Did you and your father spend some time together?" asked Sarah. Ronnie quickly pert up.

"Yes Mommy. We played games and read a couple of books. Grammy gave us fresh baked cookies." smiled Ronnie.

"Did your father eat them all or did he save some for me?" asked Sarah smiling.

"Yes Mommy, a whole bunch. Daddy said you always need to have cookies around to feed a hungry Marine." chirped Ronnie. Sarah laughed.

Tuesday

15 Mar 2005

JAG Headquarters

A couple of days later Harm and Sarah were on their way to Washington DC. They had decided to take Ronnie with them. They wanted to spend more time together as a family. It had been hard on Ronnie not to have her father around.

This was a chance for her to spend more time with him. It also was an opportunity for Harm to spend time with her. He had missed so much of her life already. As she always knew, Harm was a great father. He and Ronnie loved each other so much.

Sarah knew it was time to talk with Harm. It was time that they were together so Ronnie could have them both in her life everyday. They would have to talk to the new JAG about being assigned together.

If that wasn't feasible then they would have to talk about the possibility of one or both of them leaving the service. It wasn't something she wanted to think about, but she knew it was time for them to be together as a family, not some time in the future.

One of the things Sarah did before leaving for Washington DC was to call Harriet. Bud and she were still assigned to JAG Headquarters in DC. Sarah wanted to arrange with Harriet to visit with them before reporting to Headquarters for the meeting of all Senior lawyers.

When Harm and Sarah finally reached Headquarters they paused outside the building. It had been nearly six years that they both were here together. The building was still impressive looking to them.

It felt like they were finally home. Sarah looked down at Ronnie. "This is where Mommy and Daddy used to work together. Maybe we will be able to work here together again." smiled Sarah. She bent down to hug her.

Harm and Sarah each took one of Ronnie's hand and went inside up to the bullpen. It was a slow ride up in the elevator. They were both nervous. It had been so many years since they were last here. How many of their old friends would still be here?

They walked slowly into the bullpen looking around. The paint looked different, but everything else appeared to be the same. Finally they were spotted by Harriet who let out a little shriek when she saw them.

Harriet hurried over to them quickly as everyone looked on wondering what was wrong with the ditzy blond. Without Sarah's guidance Harriet never came into her own. Harm and Sarah's replacements had always treated her as if she didn't belong.

This had led her to suffering very low self esteem for the last five years. Even Bud had struggled to find himself without the encouragement from Harm and Sarah. The senior officers always chipped away at him treating him like he wasn't good enough to be at Headquarters.

"Ma'am! Sir! It's so good to see you! Who is this beautiful little girl?" chirped Harriet excitedly.

"Hi Harriet, it's good to see you again. This is my little girl, Ronnie." smiled Sarah.

"Hey! She's my little girl too." added Harm.

"Does that mean you two got married Ma'am?" asked Harriet excitedly. She had hoped that one good thing came out of missing her best friend the last five and a half years.

"No Harriet, Harm and I aren't married. I hadn't seen Harm in five years. He finally came back into my life last December. He was a Christmas present to Ronnie and me. He also gave me another present." smiled Sarah as she rubbed her stomach.

Before Harriet had a chance to say anything Harm turned Sarah around to face him.

"You're pregnant Sarah?" asked a shocked Harm. She nodded her head.

"You're a perfect two for two. I guess my eggs like your little fellows." smiled Sarah.

"That's wonderful Ma'am, Sir. You have to come to our house for dinner. Bud will be so happy to see you. He's in Norfolk this morning. AJ misses you and you'll get to see my little girl Sarah, she's three." beamed Harriet.

For the first time in many years she was actually happy. Her friends had returned, hopefully they would be staying. She could only hope and pray.

Harm and Sarah went into the break room to get some coffee and a cup of juice for Ronnie. They were surprised to see that it didn't look any different than the last time they were here together.

Before they could comment on that fact, the Admiral and Harm's old friend Sturgis Turner walked in. Sturgis was pleased to see Harm, but was shocked to see Sarah. He thought she was Diane, but Diane was dead.

The Admiral first gave them a look of consternation before smiling. It was good to see them both together again. He had missed them both. They were the best. They got things done. The truth always came out. But more important they made his life more interesting.

"So I see you found her again." smiled the Admiral as he shook Harm and Sarah's hand.

"It's good to see you both again before I retire. Who is this beautiful young lady?" smiled the Admiral.

"My name is Veronica. This is my Mommy and Daddy." beamed Ronnie as she shook the Admiral's hand.

"You must be the Admiral." smiled Ronnie.

"Yes I am. How did you know that?" smiled the Admiral.

"You look old and you have a lot of stripes on your sleeve. But you don't look grouchy like Daddy said." answered Ronnie.

Everyone laughed, but Harm hid his face. The things little kids say. He had finally gotten out of the doghouse, now he might be back in it.

"Yep, you must be Rabb's kid." smiled the Admiral before asking "I didn't know that you two had gotten married and had a child. In fact I thought you two weren't speaking to each other." He was puzzled.

"You weren't mistaken Sir. Harm and I hadn't seen each other since he left here almost six years ago. Last Christmas we finally got together for two weeks at his mother's house. We met up again a couple of days ago." replied Sarah.

"That doesn't explained the two of you having a child together." replied the Admiral in a tone more serious.

"True, but I think you now understand why I left." rebutted Sarah. The Admiral nodded his head in agreement.

He knew something big must have happened between the two, now he knew. Meanwhile Sturgis was still confused. He continued to stare at Sarah in disbelief.

"What's wrong old Buddy?" Harm asked Sturgis.

"I thought you wrote to me saying that Diane was dead." replied Sturgis.

"She is Sturgis. This is Sarah MacKenzie. I met her a few months after Diane died. And yes, she knows about Diane." explained Harm.

Sturgis and Sarah exchanged greeting before Sarah turned to the Admiral again.

"Sir, Harm and I need to ask you a favor. As you can see Harm and I have a child. I just told Harriet earlier that we are expecting another child in six months." began Sarah.

"That's wonderful Colonel. I'm sure you're both very happy." smiled the Admiral.

"We are Sir. But what I need to ask you before you retire is, can you find a way for Harm and I to be stationed together. Harm has already missed first five years of Ronnie's life.

I don't want him to miss anymore of her life. I also don't want him to miss any time with the new baby. We have been apart way too long. It's time for us to be together." pleaded Sarah.

"I don't know what I can do. I only have a couple of more days left until I retire. It's really up to the new JAG." replied the Admiral.

"But you can talk to him Sir. Explain our situation. If anyone can do it, it's you Sir." pleaded Sarah.

"I can talk to him. I know he wants to bring in more senior staff here to Washington. It might be possible." smiled the Admiral.

"Thank you Sir. If you can't get the job done we might have to resign to be together." wailed Sarah.


	15. Chapter 15

Title: _**Separation and Hope**_

Author: _rooster dawn_

Pairing: Harm & Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.

Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.

_Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness._

Author's note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.

_part fifteen_

Wednesday

16 Mar 2005

Officer's Club

Norfolk, Va.

The dining out dinner for the Admiral was the next night. It was a very formal affair. All the officers who had either served with him or under him were present. It made for a large gathering.

Harm and Sarah had left Ronnie at the Robert's house. Jason was baby sitting for them. A good time was had by all. The Admiral introduced his replacement, Admiral Wayne Rodgers.

Afterwards he went over to Harm and Sarah's table and asked them to join him in another room.

"I had a talk with Wayne. He's open to having you both here in Washington. He told me he was very impress with your work when you were his Chief of Staff, Colonel.

He's also interested in having the Commander here at headquarters. He knows that you're one of the best lawyers in the Navy. He would be a fool not to have you here." smiled the Admiral.

"Thank you Sir, I know it couldn't have been easy for you." wailed Sarah.

"Actually it was. As I have told you before you two are the best I ever had. I was just disappointed that you both didn't stay here." replied the Admiral.

"I apologize for that Sir. I know it was entirely my fault, but I couldn't resist the temptation to fly full time again. It's in my blood, but I realize now I threw away a more rewarding life, a life with Sarah." offered Harm.

"Nonsense Commander, you had no way of knowing the Colonel was pregnant. For all you know it might still have been years before you both decided to get together.

Can you honestly tell me that you and the Colonel would have gotten together and had a child if you had stayed." argued the Admiral.

"You're right Sir. The only reason we got together that night was because I was worried about Sarah. She had cried in my arms earlier that day in my office. I had to make sure she was alright." conceded Harm.

"So what's in stored in the future for you two Commander? Are you going to make an honest woman out of her?" asked the Admiral with a smirk.

"We haven't gotten that far Sir." started Harm.

"We've only just found each other a couple of months ago Sir. Harm was dating someone else at the time." continued Sarah.

"That was before I knew I had a daughter Sir." added Harm.

"We've only just begun the negotiation process Sir." continued Sarah.

The Admiral was beginning to get dizzy. He had forgotten how these two got when they had a point to make. It was like they were of one mind, but two bodies. But he had to smile. He knew they belong together.

"It's not easy Sir. In the last six years we have only been together nineteen days." sighed Harm in resignation.

"His saving grace and best argument is baby number two is on the way. And Harm has shown to me that he's a great father." smiled Sarah.

"Well I'm sure you both will work it out. I expect an invitation to the wedding." smiled the Admiral.

"Yes Sir, and thank you Sir for your assistance in getting us assigned together." smiled Sarah.

****

_The End_


End file.
